I have a thing for Trolleys

Lately, I've been watching the show, Grey's Anatomy. Probably because Patrick Dempsey is in it, and I think he's very attractive. Get over it. He is. Anyway. There's this part where he's telling Meredith, another one of the characters in the show that he "has a thing for ferry boats." I also love ferry boats. But also...I think I actually have more of a thing for trolleys. Weird. Maybe it started with watching Mister Rogers show on t.v. when I was little...but...I've always loved those rolling hills of San Francisco. And the trolleys that run up and down them. I remember the first time I actually rode on one. I was 23. I think it was more the fact I was riding a trolley in San Francisco on Spring Break with some great friends that made me fall in love with them initially. Someday, I still want to live in a coastal town with trolleys that run every day. And ferrys. If I lived somewhere they were a part of life, I would probably take a ride on them whenever I felt sad or happy or frustrated or on top of the world. But there's just something quaint about Trolleys. I offically have a thing for Trolleys.

Sushi Nights and Katie to thank.

Sushi. This picture makes me hungry. I tried to find a decent picture of a "Vegas Roll" (it's my favorite) but this will have to do. Last night, after work, one of my friends and I went to The Happy Sumo. I love sushi. It has somehow become some kind of comfort food. A slightly more expensive comfort food I can only have once in a while, but...mmmmmm good! My friend Katie introduced me to Sushi about four years ago. I couldn't fathom the thought of raw fish before that, but - she made me eat it! Thank you, Katie. After that, there was a group of us that would go to the local sushi shop in Logan for "happy hour" every week...and eat $1 sushi rolls until we couldn't even think about food anymore. Oh, those were the good 'ol days. When sushi only cost $1. *happy sigh* :) So, thank you, Katie. Thanks for the sushi. :)

President Dilworth

This post is dedicated to my friend, Seth. I think he's going to go very far in life. And by that, I mean he's probably going to end up somewhere in Asia. At least I hope so. :) See...Seth is special. As you can see in the picture. I've known Seth since I was...12? Yep. I think that's how old we were. We were in orchestra together. And I couldn't stand him back then! However, when I was 14, we moved across town, and...to my teenage dismay, guess who lived just around the corner from me?

Yep. Seth Dilworth. I thought my life was OVER.

I guess in a sense, that was true. At least my life as I knew it was over. Somehow, over the course of the rest of junior high and high school, we became friends. Also, he and his friend Mike would come over...half the time, I think it was just to bug me. :) But my parents really liked them. Of course, my parents didn't really know about the mischief they were always up to...nothing harmelss, really...unless you have a soft spot in your heart for dishwashers. They also tried to convince me to put a crockpot with frogs in it to cook in my oven. (The lid was taped down with duct tape, by the way.)

I didn't put a post up on President's Day...mostly because I was too busy enjoying my paid holiday. :) Those are awesome, by the way. But Seth thought I should put a picture of myself dressed as a founding father in honor of the day. I clearly do not have any pictures of myself behaving in such a manner. But SETH does! :)

I guess this is what happens when little boys "grow up" and go to Law School. Go ahead. Lawyer jokes are welcome. :) He won't care. Happy late President's Day, everyone! Why don't we always dress up like founding fathers on that day, anyway? Clearly, it could be a big hit. :)

Eyeliner and Car Alarms

I think I'm cheating on my current place of residence. If it's possible to give your heart to a place, I did that a long time ago. I'm in love with Logan. Utah. Logan, Utah. Cache Valley. I. love. it.

I've been living in Provo for just over 3 months now, so I suppose people might try to argue the whole "you haven't given it a fair shot" crap. Whatever. They don't know. Cache Valley trumps happy valley a million times over.

Be quiet, Provo lovers. This is MY blog! :)

There's just something about the Wellsville mountains that makes me feel so safe. I love first and second dam. I love that trail next to the water that's perfect for running, especially in the spring or the fall. I love that bridge at second dam. And I love coming out of Sardine Canyon around that bend when you first see all of Cache Valley spread out in front of you, enclosed all around by mountains, and the Logan Temple just seems to stand out in the middle of it all. Then, at night, when "A" on top of Old Main is lit up in blue...*happy sigh of contentment*... :)

Anyway. I went up there this weekend to see a show my friends were doing. Aubs, Dani, Jess, and I met up at USU forever ago. I love them. If people only understood how funny we all are, I think the world would be a much better place. :)

Aubs and I left Provo at about 11 pm on Friday night and drove, drove, drove for the next 2 hours or so to the snowy heaven-on-earth. One of the things I love most about Aubs is her great taste in tunes. I love a lot of other really great things about Aubrey. Like how funny she is. But the tunes made the roadtrip. :) AND, I introduced her to the great art of fortune telling/getting answers to all of your questions by using your ipod. It's basically the best roadtrip game ever. Besides the sentence/picture game. That's pure gold. :) If you want instructions to our fantastic ipod game, you'll have to go to Aubrey's blog.

We stayed at Aubrey's parents house that night...it always amazes me how BEAUTIFUL Cache Valley is; even in the winter. There's so much snow! It's all over every branch of every tree, and there are so many fields just laying underneath piles and piles and piles of untouched snow...*sigh*...seriously the most beautiful cold place on earth!

The next morning, we had a really funny conversation the next morning with our friend, Dave, as we were hurrying to get ready. Randomly, the topic of men wearing makeup in Asia came up. Actually, it wasn't random. Dave brought it up. Weird, Dave. Weird. :) Then, Aubrey, the ever open-minded one, said it's just like when women started wearing pants. The whole socially unacceptable thing. I just looked at her and said, "Aubrey. That is NOT the same thing." We all laughed. Because it was funny. Ahem. Anyway. And then Aubs kept trying to defend the men and makeup issue by telling me rockstars wear eyeliner. I didn't care. I told her it didn't make me want them anymore than usual just because they decided to wear eyeliner. And that it should be more about their great voice or great music instead of their gross eyeliner. Lol. Then Dave pipes up and says,

"Yeah, does he sing out of his EYES?!"

I don't think I've laughed harder about anything in a really hard time!! And then Aubrey got mad and started saying how much she hated everything and everyone. She does that. Heheh. Then she recognized her need to stop hating everything...(meanwhile, we're all still laughing intermittently)...and Dave made a comment about hate being just as dangerous/addicting as cigarettes. Except for the lung problems. She kept ranting about hatred. Then I asked her if we were going to have to get her a hate patch.

She thinks I'm funny. It's true.

I wish I had the energy to put more effort into helping you understand how funny that morning conversation was. But I'm a little tired from all of this fun. :)

The next funny thing happened that day. Aubs, Dani, and our friend/one of my old roommates, Michelle, were rehearsing the show they were doing that night. So I borrowed Aubrey's car to go run errands. I went and got my hair cut and picked up a few things...but the haircut took a long time, and I was running a little too late to drive all the way back to Aubs' parent's house to get changed into nice clothing (since this was a very nice dinner/event.) I had a dress I could change into, but no shoes and no nylons. Boo. I need a hate patch to deal with my hatred of nylons. WORST invention EVER. Anyway. SOMEHOW, I set off the car alarm for Aubs' car when I got out of it to get some shoes. I have NO idea how I did it, and and NO idea how to turn it off!!!! AH!!!! It was extremely funny, but also embarrassing to the point I started to sweat and get nervous. Lol. This happened not once, but TWICE. TWICE!!! I just had to get in the car both times and drive away in the car whose alarm was STILL blaring! Eventually, about 6 blocks later, and many angry glares from drivers passing by, it stopped. For about 3 seconds. And then it started up again!

I hate car alarms. Someday when I get a new car...(for those of you who have had any kind of contact with my car...you know.) it will NOT have a car alarm! :) At least it's funny now!

There were loads of other funny things that happened this weekend...including a time when I told a story of my friends who have what we like to call a "singing dog." However, when I told this story to my dear, dear friend Dani, she flat-out called me a liar!!! (Okay. So dogs can't hear pitch. Big fatty DEAL.) :) We laughed and laughed about it. *happy sigh*

P.S. I'm not a liar. That dog really can sing along. I've heard it. And I'll stand by that fact until my dying DAY, Danz!!! :)

The day I grew UP without actually getting any taller...

Once upon a time, I finally graduated from college. Yep. It really happened. And then I experienced the pleasure of job-hunting. Now, I hate job-hunting to begin with. It's a nasty, nasty process, and I shun it. However, some things don't just disappear if you ignore them. The fact I needed a real job with actual benefits was...well...painfully evident. I no longer could glide along in my care-free college existence, taking whatever jobs would fit in with my school schedule. (If my poor college-student self could see my haughty future self describing my college existence as "carefree," I'm not sure I'd be here today.) Lucky for me, I've never perfected the art of time travel. :)

I stepped out into the cold, cruel world of job searching "for keeps" with a grim determination that there had to be something out there for all the hard work I'd done to get that piece of paper called a degree.

After months of searching, I finally succeeded. I got a job. WITH benefits, thank you very much! :)

You are now looking at the proud owner of the title "Program Assistant" for the EFY program. My office is on BYU campus (ahem...something my USU "Aggie pride" self had trouble swallowing...) and I LOVE IT! I've worked here since November, and I think I'm here for a good while. We'll see, eh?!

I never thought I'd actually have a job I loved. Who knew you could enjoy every second of every day at your job?! I sure didn't know it! But I do now! I have the greatest co-workers on the planet, and every single day, something happens at work that makes me laugh my head off. I learn something new every day. I get to incorporate the gospel into my workday. Every single day.

And they even let me decorate my own office. Suckers. :) But I did find some real gems...I also made my own temporary name plate for the first month or so. A very fitting picture, if I do say so myself! (Note the nicely dated pictures of John Schmidt, Barbara Barrington Jones, Voice Male, and Vocal Point. There's a post-it note heart around Kenneth Cope. I just found out that's actually who it is! Lol. I love Voice Male in their early 90s plaid and vests...then there's always good old "Justin" at the bottom with his very attractive mullett...*sigh*...)

The things I never dreamed could be...

There's something about life that changes us. Our experiences. Our mistakes. Our hopes, our dreams. Our fears. Our decisions. The people we meet. Our joys, our sorrows. Sometimes we find ourselves in places we never thought we'd be; doing things we never dreamed we'd be able to do. I know some people wonder if our lives just "happen" or if we make them happen...or if God has a hand in our lives.


I guess I used to be one of those people...sometimes afraid to "move" because I was afraid I'd make the wrong move. I look back on times in my life when I wanted so badly to do the right thing, that I almost waiting too long. I'm certain there were times I did wait "too long." But I also know that it's not always just up to me. I have to make the moves, and move forward with decisions, but...I'm a firm believer in the fact that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me more than I could ever imagine, and He has a plan for me; a plan for every single one of us. I know there are opportunities I've missed in my life...but I also know I keep trying, and the most surprising and wonderful thing I've found out lately is that those "missed" chances always come around again. And the greatest surprise of all? They're so much greater than I ever imagined they could be. I think I've never actually "missed" an opportunity or a chance to do something in my life...because a chance always comes around again that makes all the difference. And as soon as I find myself "there," I can't imagine myself having gone anywhere else. I also know I never could have gotten there on my own. I took the physical steps to get there, but there has always been the undeniable presence of my Heavenly Father right there next to me, guiding me along, showing me what steps I need to take.



Nine times out of ten, I don't realize that until after the steps have already been taken. But I always know, at the end of the day, that no matter what "I" have done, I never could have done it all on my own and have it turn out so crystal clear and beautiful.


I don't want you to think I'm saying we should pass up opportunities because they're just going to keep getting better. I don't believe that. I think whatever choices we make that are good will bless our lives and the lives of others no matter what. BUT. I'm saying this: never, never, never let the fear of missed opportunities take one iota of hope from your life. Keep going forward with your head up, and remember who else is there with you.

Take these pictures, for example. I always wanted to go on a mission. Well. Not always. But for the last four or five years, I really wanted to go. But the timing never seemed right, or there were other experiences I know I was supposed to have. I didn't know it or understand it at the time, necessarily, but looking back, I have no doubt. I met people I know I was supposed to meet. I did things I know I was supposed to do. I learned things I so desperately needed to learn. These people and these lessons are now an essential part of the person I am today. I've made my share of mistakes, but I've never felt more at peace with the person I am than I feel now at this point in my life. But in this first picture, we all look a little...unsure...maybe a little scared. We had no idea what was ahead of us. We also really actually had no idea who the person right next to us was. No idea! I look at this picture now, and it's a very tangible reminder of what we usually think of the "unknown." Some of us might be smiling, and there was a sense of excitement that night, but...you'll also notice some of us are smiling and gripping the person next to us...almost like we don't know what else to hold on to. It was our first night together as missionaries, our first time seeing that creepy old cellar connected to our pioneer house, and we really had no clue what we'd gotten ourselves into.



But then the next beautiful months of our lives flew by like a dream. Well...sometimes like a dream in really slow motion. Other times, it went so fast, we hardly knew what day it really was. We experienced the highest highs of our lives, and lowest lows we ever thought we could reach. We had to rely completely on the Lord; and on each other. Some of us were almost the same soul, while others of us were as different as could be. But we had to hold on and work together to make it through. We spent all of our time serving and performing. There were days when I would rather have cut my foot off than wear those character shoes one more time or put my hair in a bun or braids one more TIME!!! We all experienced moments of intense sorrow and feeling homesick; there were days we felt the spirit so strong, it sent our spirits soaring to greater hights than we had ever before imagined. At the end of almost every day, there was a sense of immense gratitude and acknowledgement that we were being changed in ways we never, ever imagined we would be changed.

I think C.S. Lewis describes this perfectly here:

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. A t first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on. You knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominable and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to?! The eplanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of-throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent litle cottage, but He is building a palace."

In the end, we are no longer afraid. We are stronger, better, happier instruments when we are in His hands. Sometimes I find myself feeling lost and alone, but almost instantly comes that feeling; that reminder that while I may not understand, someone else does. Someone else who is all-knowing, and who knows me better than I know myself. A Heavenly Father who has in mind greater things for me than I could ever imagine for myself; a Father who really can make everything better. I can't even begin to imagine the joy we can feel at the end of our lives, knowing we have let Him be the guiding force in our lives. My joy for those few months has changed me forever. I never dreamed such a short time could change my entire existence. It never even crossed my mind.

VaLenTinEs dAy

See...here's the thing. I don't give a hoot about Valentines Day. Probably because it's a holiday so focused on romantic relationships (and thus has nothing whatsoever to do with me at this point) that I just want to "accidentally" trip most of the love-struck people around me. :) This is not said in anger or frustration, I promise! I just don't see what all the fuss is about! The last time I got a real-live valentine from a boy, I was 12-years-old, in 7th grade, and it freaked me out! Funny? Heck yes! SO funny! The poor poor boy! It's probably because of my premature reaction to his multiple gifts that day that it's been an altogether ordinary experience ever since. (Which I actually find quite funny, by the way!)

I've never had a bad valentines day experience, either, so I can honestly say I don't have negative feelings toward the "holiday." I just don't care about the whole day any more than I do any other day of the year. So...when my roommate asks when I'll be "out for the night," and I'm confused as to why I can't be in my apartment on in what my mind is just another Thursday...this is what bugs me about Valentines Day. I get to rearrange my life and plans to accommodate for the romantic lives of others! Not only that, but at 7:30 this morning, I also had the pleasure of greeting one of my other roommates and random boy #542 all cuddled up on the couch together. What an awesome sight! Just what I wanted to see right after I got out of bed.

SO. Just to celebrate how much I care about this day...

These are pictures (they're very, very attractive. I know.) of last Valentines Day when my friend, Brooke, and I spent 7 hours (yes. 7.) studying psychological statistics because we had a ridiculously horrendous statistics midterm the next morning. I didn't even think about the fact that it was valentines day that day until about 6 p.m. when we decided we were hungry. So we made pancakes. And put pink headbands that said "love" in our hair. Then we ate the pancakes. And then we continued to study. For some people, I guess that would be the worst valentines day ever...but...actually...it was a good day! (I hate statistics, but that is really beside the point.) For me, it's just another day.

Someday, that may change. But frankly, I'd rather celebrate the fact that I love someone every day I'm with them, not just on some ridiculous day out of the year when I have the pleasure of being greeted by the hoardes of crazy lovers all around me.

That's all I'm trying to say! Happy frrrreaking Valentines Day! I'll be watching LOST. And quite frankly, Michael Fox is enough to make a girl happy any day of the week. It's quite possible James Marsden will be involved in the evening somehow as well through clips of "Hairspray" or "Superman Returns"..."Enchanted" and "27 Dresses" just aren't at my immediate disposal right now. Those will have to do. :)