"I wish you courage during this time."

Sometimes I write a blog post, and just as I'm about to click "PUBLISH POST" I think..."Really? Isn't this more like a journal entry than something entertaining to share with the blogging world? Shouldn't you just be funny?" Ahem. So I apologize if that's how you feel. :) Maybe today's post mostly just helps me. hahha. I don't know. But I promise I wasn't actually just thinking of myself while simultaneously thinking and typing. Take it or leave it!

So I have this friend, Allyson, who writes one of my favorite blogs to read. We went to high school together, she's two years younger than I am, married, working on her PhD, and is basically phenomenal. No big deal. I only wish we'd known each other better in the good ol BEHS days, but gleaning from her growing wisdom, color, and zest for life via blog these days isn't too shabby, so I'll take it. Thank you Allyson. :)

Anyway, when I was reading her blog today, something she wrote practically jumped out from the page at me.

 

"I wish you courage during this time."  

(something a friend of hers wrote to someone else having a difficult time.)

"And it struck a deep, resonating chord with me. Because all of us do hard things all the time. And in addition to the "thoughts and prayers" all we really need is courage to survive it all."

There are times, sure lately, but also in the past, and I know there will be times in the future, when I have found myself facing something I do not understand at all. I don't understand how it happened, or why it happened, or how in the world I am supposed to get over, around, or through it. And I know I'm not the only one who has or ever will feel that way. Sometimes even the realization I need courage can feel overwhelming. But then I find myself seeing what someone else might need that courage for, and I suddenly find context for my experience.

You know. The whole insurmountable odds feeling. Me against that theoretical, yet all too real formidable brick wall. Knowing I have to get over it, but having no idea how. Like that's gonna happen.  But that's also when a favorite scripture of mine comes to mind. It's simple, but I think that's part of why I like it. Life is complicated enough. It's nice when the answers are simple.

"...I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things." 1 Nephi 11:17

I love that Nephi is so honest in just plainly admitting what he doesn't know. But notice he doesn't just leave it at that. In fact, he doesn't even start out with what he doesn't know. He starts with what he knows, admits what he doesn't know, and that allows him to be taught. To learn. To move forward.

I think most of us would just sit in defeat and state what we didn't know and then hope the answer drops in our lap somehow. We know that's not how it really works, but that's the natural tendency. "I just don't know what the answer is, or what to do. Help. Fix it."

In mere general summary, Nephi is an incredible example of going forward in faith, and he accomplished many otherwise impossible things with the Lord's help. Nephi knew how to let the Lord prepare him to do whatever the Lord needed him to do. Nephi was incredibly obedient, and that takes a LOT of faith.

But don't get scared off by that image of perfection. If you think about it...that doesn't make him perfect; as in that doesn't mean I can't relate to him, or that he couldn't relate to me. And it doesn't mean he never felt fear or sadness or pain. These things are a part of life for EVERYONE. In fact, if opposition really is in all things...then...taking from Nephi's words:

something I don't know + something I know = the ability to move forward

 In order to actually learn anything, we have to first NOT know it. (Well duh, DeeAura...) Otherwise, there would be no point in learning it. You wouldn't pay college tuition to sit through a class you could teach because you already know everything. (Okay, maybe you would, but if you're doing that, you're not reaching your full potential.) In order for learning to take place, some kind of preparation is also required. An application of a new concept to something I already know enables me to learn something new. Knowledge builds on itself.

Preparation is always necessary for progress..

So no experience I have, or you have, is ever wasted.

I can't really explain the mechanics of how that works, but I just know it does. Unfortunately, that doesn't always take the fear out of unknown or the sting out of disappointments. And let's be honest: we're all a little afraid of what we can't see or don't understand or just don't know.

I think that's where courage comes in. Courage to move ahead when you can't see very far in front of you. So not to use someone else's words (I never do that..) but:

"I wish you courage during this time." 

-a person I wish I knew :)

That's for a number of people, and okay we can include me in there. But my mom always tells me it's darkest before the dawn. That things get the hardest before they get better. When it seems so dark you can't see anything in front of you...to hold on. Because the light is JUST around the corner. When the unknowns are just too..unknown, it is the constants we have to hold on to.


And for me, that constant is like Nephi's: "I know that He loveth His children..." so it's okay that I don't know everything else in front of me. Because I really DO know that.

Fresh. Courage. Take. 

Because sometimes it just needs to be renewed.

And on that note, today's favorite youtube discovery is this:

The glorious beings we are CAPABLE of becoming:

Even toward the end of a work day, or...any day, really...it doesn't have to be a 9-5 kind of thing..sometimes...you just need a lift. And boy oh boy was this and a glorious 30 minute scripture study break at work ever my lift today. :) I am so blessed to have a job where I can DO that almost whenever I need to. I forget sometimes what a blessing that is. I walk down the halls sometimes and see people listening to conference on their computers while working, and it just makes me so happy. I do it, too. I forget not everybody can. One more thing to be completely grateful for today.

A knowledge of the gospel is the most beautiful, most complete, and most reliable thing I could ever have.

"He can heal us." 

"The peace of God which passeth all understanding..." 

"...More than enough."

"Our Heavenly Father sees us in terms of forever. Although we might settle for less, our Heavenly Father won't, for He sees us as the glorious beings we are capable of becoming." 

"We must be firmly attached to Him."

"...which FAITH will make them WHOLE..."

Happy Wednesday. :)

Acceptance of Appropriate Accolades

I've mentioned this here before, albeit breifly, but I have a confession:

Sometimes, when I sit quietly in a meeting or a class...it can be anything from church to work to school...I have this sudden, strong urge to just leap up on my chair in one swift movement and burst into song. We're not talking an Enchanted moment with fluttery birds and magical moments here...but a real blow the roof off the building and everyone's mind kind of event. NBD.

I will, of course, star in said fantastic musical moment.

This generally happens when I'm sitting in Sacrament Meeting. :) Oops. I'm not gonna lie. It's usually when my mind starts to wander and there's a song I can't get out of my head. It also happened a lot in my undergrad when I'd be sitting listening to the professor drone on about statistics or economics (which I admit I only took for 2 days until I learned it wasn't required...PEACE OUT, yo...) and my mind stared in disgust at all the boring subjects around me and just wanted to help bring everybody out from the 6-feet-under screams I just knew were begging them to leave such drudgery behind.

Don't you dare tell me you'd rather discuss the production, distribution, and consumption of goods and services than laugh your head off or be dazzled by the vocal stylings of yours truly. A) because it's rude to tell me that, and B) because it's just not true. I'm seriously amazing...in my head. The song choice tends to change from day to day, but...today it might be something like THIS:



OR maybe this:



Right?! Seriously. I would rock your socks off. All that gusto... 

Hey, Mister Arnstein, HERE I AAAAAAAM! 

TAKE me baby, or leeeeave me, I'm gone!

Whew. Time for heart rate to return to normal. BAM!

If nothing else, this happens on a regular basis when I'm driving in my car and no one else is there to hear me. Except for Frank.

Which brings me to my next point.

It's time for this buddy to hit the road. But his name isn't Jack.

This is Frank. Some of you have met him before. I never name my cars. If you know me well at all, you know I generally look down on naming inanimate objects; er, non-living things. Call it whatever you like, but I just generally find it odd. :) But...for whatever reason, this car deserved a name. Maybe because he was my first real car...you know, one that didn't have the bumper falling off when it wasn't held on with a bunji cord or a flat tire every two weeks during the winter (I affectionately named that car "hunk of junk" and we were together for six years.) ...things like that. Fred really has pulled through every season with flying colors. I'm proud of him for that. However, we did get in a terrible fight last spring when he broke my finger in his door. BADLY DONE, FRANK. BADLY DONE. The only other thing Frank has ever really done wrong is cost me a lot of money in gas. Ask me why I listened to the salesman when he pointed out how handy it was that there were carseat...things...for the backseat. I don't know what they're called, but if I were a mother of more than one toddler, this car would truly be useful. Uh...I don't know if you've noticed...but I own not a single toddler. (Can one even own a toddler? posess? I don't know why this requires ownership...) Anyway. He's really just too big for me and my life. He's awfully comfortable, and we've had some great times together. Tall people can sit comfortably in the back seat. Uh...once again...I never sit in the back seat, and the number of times a tall person is in the BACK seat is just not worth the gas money Frank requires. I'm not certain of the exact date of the parting of our ways, but...it's coming soon.

Sorry, Frank. I'll try to increase the number of times we have together between now and then when you MAY hear me belt out some great tunes. Because I know at least you appreciate it.

Also, totally unrelated to anything else here, but sometimes, when I'm witty or hysterical on facebook...I wish I could "like" my own comments. Not just once, but repeatedly. And I find it odd sometimes when more people don't "like" it far more than they do. We need to learn to show our APPRECIATION more often, people! C'mon! Things like, "Dear DeeAura, you are so funny sometimes I think I'm going to pee my pants." Stuff like that. Because I think it's funny to say stuff like "pee my pants." (Sorry, Dad...)

Most importantly, did you know there are 10" of new snow today in the mountains? Did you FURTHER know that I am actually at work right now instead of flying through all 10" of that powder?

In all seriousness, I think my sense of responsibility today deserves the standing ovation. Let's. Be. Honest.

Go ahead. I will graciously accept your accolades, starting now. Thank you, thank you very much.

"They do not love that do not show their love..."

Today, I had every intention in writing about the first Valentines Day I had that included something other than candy hearts in my box on my desk in elementary school. Ahem. However, today has been crazy and I haven't had time to properly reflect on the parallels between that 7th grade experience of having my locker crammed to overflowing with expressions of love and devotion that this 12-year-old girl didn't have the experience nor the maturity to fully appreciate...and life today. :)

You know, go the normal DeeAura route and possibly over-analyze and go deeper than is usually necessary...  :)

But then I decided to let someone older, wiser, and far more eloquent speak for me in this case; since I am clearly a work in progress on this matter. :) And while there is absolutely nothing wrong with that (being a work in progress) I just would rather hear what he has to say than read my rantings about Taylor Swift later on and regret my words. :)

Just for one day. 

I'll rant about Taylor Swift and her inability to move on another day.

How do I love thee...

"The solutions to life's problems are always gospel solutions."

"Real love is best shown in the how. How do I love thee..."

"There are lots of limitations in all of us that we hope our sweethearts will overlook. I suppose no one is as handsome or as beautiful as he or she wishes, or as brilliant in school or as witty in speech or as wealthy as we would like, but in a world of varied talents and fortunes that we can't always command, I think that makes even more attractive the qualities we can command--such qualities as thoughtfulness, patience, a kind word, and true delight in the accomplishment of another. These cost us nothing, and they can mean everything to the one who receives them."

"True Love blooms when we care more about another person than we do about ourselves."

"You want capability, safety, and security in dating and romance, in married life and eternity? Be a true disciple of Jesus. Be a genuine, committed, word-and-deed Latter-day Saint. Believe that your faith has everything to do with your romance, because it does. You separate dating from discipleship at your peril. Or, to phrase that more positively, Jesus Christ, the Light of the World, is the only lamp by which you can successfully see the path of love and happiness for you and for your sweetheart."

"How should I love thee? As He does, for that way "never faileth."

I guess the real thing I wanted to say today is so much more like what Elder Holland says so beautifully. You can read his whole talk here.

Today, I love that I have an overwhelming number of opportunities to get outside my own life and my own worries and take time for other people. Being able to love and serve other people on a daily basis really does make all the difference in life!

So Happy Valentines Day...now go find a way to show someone else you love them. It's all in the HOW. :)

Tuesdays with moreeeee useless information...

Wanna know what I just discovered?  It is sad on multiple levels. Also revealing and slightly funny.

If you happen to accidentally leave a piece of string cheese in a can of Pringles...(YES this just happened to me.  What?) By the next day, said Pringles will no longer be crispy - at all.

And for those of you doing the fitness challenge with me in my ward, you can just stop right there on how it serves me right for buying Pringles in the first place, because...if YOU had been snowboarding all day and it was time to go home, and your closest food choices consist of the contents of a nearby 7-11..and you could either get Pringles or a hot dog you're not sure WHERE it came from...I'm pretty sure you'd choose the Pringles too.

Also, you'd probably grab a string cheese and a water bottle and a two fig newtons on your way out - because...well, you DO need a well-balanced meal...

But then you would have already read this blog so you'd make certain to not accidentally drop half the string cheese in the can overnight.

*sigh* I'm disgusting.  AND sad. Also a little tiny bit funny.  :)

...I also just popped a less crispy Pringle in my mouth because I'm STILL that hungry.

Happy Tuesday.  :)

Also, it was Justin Timberlake's 30th birthday yesterday.  He's totally hot and admittedly single.  Also I've loved him since I was 14 and he was 16. Sit back world, if he's not in a rush or worried about it, neither am I.  I can wait for him.  I can and I will. Also, if I had to choose between him and Usher, I'd cry.  But I try not to get ahead of myself...

 Also, the radio gave me these thoughts today:

Paramore's "You Are The Only Exception"

Okay, ambigious male figure she's singing so lovingly about: you're actually not the only exception.  Just fyi. If she has been content with loneliness to this point, you get to be the "exception" now because you happened to have been smart enough to get and stay on the bandwagon with her.  We can therefore conclude the end result - if you don't get on the bandwagon, someone else will.  So really...you're just the current smartest exception to all the times love is...well, adding to the averages.  :)

Though...as an afterthought, if the dude did well enough for her to write/sing a song about him...I guess he might be the only exception. Ah, crap.  There goes half my argument. :) Whatever.  I still had a stern moment with the radio this morning because of this song, and I'll stand by it. 

You know what?  WAIT.  Nevermind.  I'm assuming she has the same level of commitment when writing a song for a guy that I would.  I don't know her.  She could be writing this stuff for every guy who takes her on a third date! Geez. I'm just saying there's more than one exception out there, kids.  That's all.  That's all I'm tryin' ta say.

Bruno Mars' "Grenade"

This line of thinking should be initially attributed to my happily married friends Cary and Carla, who clearly love each other but also disagree with our dude Bruno, as much as I love him. Uh...I probably wouldn't catch a grenade for ya.  Something about getting my hands blown off is just not appealing...call me selfish. If you want. You'll be wrong, but you can call me that if it makes you feel more top 40s acceptable. I mean, the sentiment is nice and all...I've thought I'd do anything for someone before, but really? A grenade? That's taking this love thing a little too far, don't you think?

All of this is completely irrelevant to life.  I just felt the need to share a lot of useless information today.  :)


P.S. Uh, also, I like both aforementioned songs.  I generally turn them up when they come on the radio.  It's just that this morning we sort of got in an argument about, you know, reality and stuff.