Best Cornmaze OF ALL TIME. The end.

If you don't believe me, check this out:

Archuleta cut into corn maze

September 24th, 2008 @ 7:45am

By Randall Jeppesen

Brett Herbst wanted his massive corn maze just behind Thanksgiving Point to take on a presidential tone this fall. But he says it took time to figure out what they wanted.

"We kind of didn't really care for either one of the candidates, so we're like, ‘Let's do Archuleta 4 President,'" he says.

So he's hoping the chance to get up close and personal with David Archuleta will bring crowds of people who maybe want to walk through Archuleta's ear.

"They're in his eyeball, his lips or whatever," he says.

He added getting permission to use Archuleta's image was no easy task.

*P.S.* I'm totally going. No matter how much it costs. Anyone? Anyone?! :)

Picture Perfect. *big grin*

This was the best new toy today. BEST EVER. :) I don't think I have laughed so hard in a long, long time. I've always wondered if I'd make a good-lookin' black chick, or how I would've handled horn-rimmed glasses, or if I woulda been a cardigan-sporting sweetie, or how high I could GET my bangs to go, or even how I'd look as a a Michael Jackson look-alike. :) I no longer have any questions. At ALL. :) HAHAHAH....presenting ME. 1950-1998. (Okay, so I graduated only 2 years later, but I figured finding one that actually looked like me for reals once. Except for that giant forehead....and I look seriously retarded in some of them...and the wrong head tilt in others...but I almost cried laughing when it was done. Thank you, yearbookyourself.com

I love Logan in the Fall...

A few weekends ago, I went up "north" to celebrate good 'ol Brigham City Peach Days. One of my favorite roommates of all time, Michelle, drove down from Logan to partake of the goodness with me. :) When we went as roommates two years ago, we found Peach Days to be chuck full of mullets and other white-trash goodness. So this was the appeal again this year. And I have to say, while we did find Elmo in the back of a sparkly blue car, the mullet sightings were not plentiful this year. But that's not to say the time wasn't well spent! Happy helpings of Peach Cobbler, listening to bad cover bands, being really glad I didn't waste my money on that hot orange Peach Day's T-shirt, and one v-shaped sunburn later, I think it's safe to say we lived it up as best we could. Later that night, I did drive up to good 'ol Cache Valley for my absolute favorite event of all fall-time, the demolition derby in Logan. Baby oh baby! I love me a good demo derby! Some silly boy tried to first get my phone number and then Michelle's, but we politely declined...*ahem*...and I'm happy to say a cheeseburger tastes a million times better when you're eating it in the midst of screaming demolition derby goers. :) I'm going back up in a few weeks to soak in the beauty of second dam in the fall as well as none other than The Pumpkin Walk. :) If I could bottle another scent I love, it would certainly be Logan in the fall. :)

Then, last weekend, Aubs, Dani, Dave, and I went up to Logan to see Dani's little sister in the community production of HSM. There, we ran into Nicole as well as a bunch of other people we love love love there in good 'ol Cache Valley. Hip hip huryah for Logan goodness! :)

Tables Turned. Now I'M the jerk...

So...remember how everyone in the world is on facebook? And remember how...well...everyone can see this blog? Ugh. Well, someone did see it. And I feel like a jerk. I didn't necessarily want to put this on my blog, but - I clearly was - wrong? Hmm. This is what he sent me in response to seeing my frightening assessment of his behavior. Despite my pride being slightly wounded, it's more important, I suppose, not to falsely portray someone...no matter what. (Though I still stand by my irritation in general. It just doesn't have a face anymore.) Here it is:

Hey DeeAura, I just really wanted to apologize. I didn't mean to offend you, though that is exactly what i did. I really do apologize if it seemed like i had a really big ego, among many other things, when talking with you, i was actually just nervous and didn't know what to say. I know that what little opinion you had of me probably went down even more, but i truly am sorry. You can put my apology in your blog if that would make you feel better, but the honest truth is that i just wanted to have fun with somebody that i thought was a friend.

*HEAVY SIGH* Sorry to this boy. I didn't mention his name before, so I won't now. This, I suppose, is one of the downfalls of "virtual communication." On both ends. Don't text message a girl for a date, and I won't misconstrue your intentions and therefore vent about it on my blog.

BEYOND ANNOYED

After last night, I have a new official standard:

To the little BYU boy who won't take NO for an answer:
THE ANSWER IS STILL NO NO NO!!!!!

There's a problem here. It's called me being nice. Yeah, for those of you who know me and how I tend to deal with boys, I lean more toward the sarcastic side. Sorry, but that's the way I am. I think I'm that way for a reason...many, in fact. One too many times of being bossed around by boys who think they can call the shots. Every now and again, I think I should maybe be more like those sweet little darling girls who are just sickeningly nice to every boy they meet, and flirt with everyone, regardless of any quality other than the fact they are a boy who can get them free dinner.

Let's keep the focus on my real source of irritation. It is not the girls. It's the boys. AND me, especially when I try to be like other girls instead of myself. I am bossy about boys for a reason, and it's because I quite frankly don't trust them to know what they really want, need, or should be doing. (There are SHINING examples of exceptions to these rules, however. But the reason I act the way I do is to get rid of all the bums who think they're awesome and are actually NOT.)

Small example #1:

I decided to be more involved in my ward recently. Yes, I actually went to ward prayer again for the first time in...at least 3 years. I hate ward prayer. Not because of the prayer part...I fully appreciate that aspect. What I don't appreciate, however, is what a silly little meat-fest it turns into. That sort of behavior was fine for my first 3 years of college, but since then? Seriously? Get me OUTTA there!!!

But I gave in. I did that, I went to all the silly little FHE activities, etc. This is all fine and good, and I'm not saying I won't be doing this anymore. HOWEVER. There are aggravating side effects to this sort of behavior.

Small 21-year-old pretty newly returned missionary boy with a double major and therefore a pretty healthy view of himself (also known as ego) and his older, nice enough, but just not that interesting, brother decided to "make friends" with me and my roommate while we were innocently participating in ward activities. Small 21-year-old with ego was nice enough at first, I decided to be nice since he IS a fellow ward member, and I'm trying to be more social with my ward members. This was not a good idea. Me being nice leads to boys thinking they can just do and say whatever they want. He and his brother have this nasty little habit of calling me and my roommate names like "sexy" and "dead sexy" and "babe" etc. Sorry boys, but when you say things like that to girls you don't know and who don't know you, you sound like a jerk. I think it's degrading and rude and probably one of the biggest turn-offs I can think of. The only person who has permission to call me "babe" or "sexy" is the man I someday decide to let MARRY me. (And yes. I know I sound like a jerk right now. This poor future husband of mine will surely be a gem because he will have had to put up with me and all my crap beforehand.) It's a lose-lose situation for me, I suppose, but the alternatives make me gag.

In order to make this as short a story as possible (yes, it could be EXTREMELY long) I'll just say this: last night, the little twerp announced to me in TEXT messages that he's taking me on a date on Saturday night. Oh. And you haven't even heard the best part. He doesn't have a car. However, his plan requires a car. He announced I'm driving. I tried to nicely say no. I even rudely said no. This egotistical, brainless smidgen of a man clearly has no mental capacity for the communication skill the rest of the world knows as LISTENING.

I don't know how many of you have ever seen me furious about boys before, but those of you who have? Oh, yeah. I also HATE being bossed into things. I gladly deal with it when it comes from authority figures. I have learned this skill. However, with little BYU boys who think they own the world?! Oh, this snake has another think COMING.

Thank you, and goodnight.

*Ahem*

So far today, there have been 3 things I meant to blog about. In order to gage the full effect of the humor involved in each situation, I would like to give them to you in a very organized bullet point style. Observe:

• All day yesterday, I was practically counting down the hours until 8 pm when the series premier of THE FRINGE would be on. I am a huge J.J. Abrams fan...and I was looking forward to some good old fashioned conspiracy-theory intrigue. Aubs and I tuned in at 8 pm to watch it, and much to our dismay and anger, it only lasted until 8:30! What kind of crap is that!??!? I voiced my opinion and disappointment in the show and questioned my aforementioned excitement. *Ahem* Well, today at work, I voiced my anger to some of my co-workers. They fought back laughter as they proceeded to inform me that I had tuned in for only the last half hour of an hour-and-a-half episode. ARGH! I hate it when I do stupid things! Lol.

• Most importantly, last night, when Aubs and I were watching the "premiere" of THE FRINGE, she stood up to get a drink (or something) and as she turned away from me, I lost all control in hysterical fits of laughter. You see, almost the entire back of her white peasant skirt was tucked nicely into her underwear. HAHAHAHAHA...oh, it brought tears to my eyes, and trying to tell her was extremely difficult due to the laughter. Good thing it was just the two of us in the living room! (*Ahem* I'm pretty sure if Dani and Dave had been there with us, like usual, this could have been a whole lot more embarrassing) It was one of those really refreshing fits of laughter that leave your stomach feeling sore....ah, funny! :) Clearly, a picture of that actual moment would not have been appropriate.
  

• Here's the worst: Today at lunch, some co-workers and I went out to Tucanos. Aghhaghahghaghahg...so good. The only problem happened at the end when I ACCIDENTALLY STOLE some of those cheesy biscuit things from another table. Ummm...lol...before you judge me, I would like to say in my defense that I did not intentionally steal them. Jenna (one of my co-workers) was just saying how good they are, and how they're her favorite. (As you can see in this picture off the internet of a small boy I do not know, he ALSO loves the tiny chessy biscuit things...I just wanted you to have a good visual.) I followed her line of vision to the table just next to us. Whoever had been sitting there before us hadn't even touched their cheesy biscuits. "What a waste!" I thought. So, I stood up, walked over to the table, and grabbed three. They were stuck together. Then I sat back down at our table and handed them to Jenna. Umm...I realized they were all laughing as I was doing said deed, but it wasn't until I sat down that I realized why they were laughing. The two camo-wearing men who had previously been sitting at the table (and who I could have SWORN had just got up and left) were over at the buffet, just starting to head back to their table. I WAS HORRIFIED!!! Lucky for me, they didn't see me steal their cheesy bread, and we had just barely all paid for our meals. I decided right then would be a perfect time to leave. *Ahem*
  

Quirky Tag

The Rules:

•Link the person(s) who tagged you.

•Mention the rules on your blog.

•Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.

•Tag 6 fellow bloggers by linking them.

•Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.

Lame. Unspectacular quirks? What will they think of next? This is like those never-ending forwards everyone emails around like free candy. :) Ahem. Kidding. Sort of. I was tagged to do this...probably months ago...umm...sorry. I forgot about it. My priority list got rearranged. Enough of that. On with duty:

1. I can't ever eat more than about 3 or 4 spoon fulls of ice cream. Unless it's really hot, in the middle of the summer, and I have no other cooling option. I will make exceptions for BYU's chocolate ice cream with the peanut butter ripples through it...aghahaghahg. SO good. But stupid BYU isn't making it for about another year or so. Therefore, I hate them. If I ever buy ice cream, I buy the small little pint-sized ones; and even then, half the time they're freezer burnt before I can finish them. I can't explain it. I'm just that way. In fact, if everyone else is eating ice cream, I'd rather have cake or brownies. Yep. Okay.
2. Swings are basically my favorite thing ever in all the world. I love them. Unfortunately, they are sometimes hard to find because stupid people sue after their children fall off of them and get hurt. Note to parents: keep a freaking eye on your children an let me keep the dang swings in the parks!! *Ahem* Lest you think I am a heartless, cruel single girl who doesn't care about children, blah blah blah, yada yada yada, crappity crap crap crap, let me just say I really do care about your children. That's why I suggest you watch them. :) I could sit in a swing and just go higher and higher and higher for hours on end. I tried to make my last boyfriend swing with me one time, and he played along, but I could tell the love just wasn't in his soul. That was my first red-flag. Thank goodness I got rid of that one! Hahah. :)
3. Hmmm...let's see...I hate it when countertops, desks, and dressers are messy. Clutter makes me crazy. This doesn't mean I am never messy...it just means I hate it, so it usually doesn't last long. Also, it's not like I'm cleaning things all the time. I actually hate to deep clean, etc., though I will do it. I guess the more precise description is I like things organized. Yeah, that's better. Organized.
4. I would rather sleep in my own bed than anywhere else. I will find any other means to leave somewhere else so I can sleep in my own bed if I am ever away and it is possible. I secretly hate sleeping on the couch, but I will do it if I have to, of course. I won't sleep well, though. I have even stooped to making ridiculous and transparent excuses before just so I can sleep in my own bed. It's a finicky thing, I know, but this calls for unspectacular quirks, does it not? Okay, then.
5. I love love love the smell of coffee. Though I clearly do not drink it or condone the drinking of said beverage, I understand the appeal. Starbucks and other such coffeehouses will find me coming in to order hot chocolate with all kinds of different flavors in it, but I mostly go in there for the smell. I just stand in line and breathe it in. Hahha - borderline embarrassing. :) However, I did read a study once that suggested the smell of coffee alone could reduce anxiety and increase brain activity after a sleepless night. If that's true, I need a coffee candle or something. Of course, I don't remember where the study is, or anything else about it, so that could be incredibly reliable information. :)
6. Holy crap, I love watching Food Network! I could sit there for hours on end (could being the key word) and just watch people cook. I can only do it for so long, however, before I have to walk away and make some food. Then, as I sit there eating my pb&j, I wish I cared enough to cook the awesome things they do. :) Also, I not-so-secretly love watching TLC's "What not to wear." Helllooo, I want Stacy's wardrobe. I bet she never wears anything twice. Lucky twit. (Note: I am absolutely not boasting that I know what not to wear. They could probably take me on that show and be totally justified in throwing out 90% of what I wear. *ahem* I would hide all pairs of flip-flops from them. I can't live without those!)
   

Oh, wahooo. There you have it. 6 very unspectacular quirks about yours truly. Isn't this fun? Okay, goodie. Now let's spread this goodness out to 6 new, unsuspecting people who will probably take 3 months to do it just like me. :) Though I think these are silly, I can't escape the guilt of not doing one. Ridiculous.

Oh. I forgot about tagging 6 more people. Uh...if you read this and would secretly like to be nominated for "what not to wear" because you want to see just how many argyle sweaters Clinton really has, then you're it. Tag. :)

My "Labor" Day Weekend...

So...I got this puzzle when I went to Nauvoo recently, with the intention of putting it together and framing it. I love this picture of Nauvoo, and have wanted it since I got home from my mission, but all the prints of it are about $400. A little out of my price range. :) But my parents bought this as a puzzle when they came out to visit me, and when I got home, there it was, framed and beautiful, hanging on our living room wall. It makes me feel "at home" even at home. So I vowed I would get it and do the same. My parents told me it took them just one night as a Family Home Evening activity, so I figured it would be super fun, and couldn't wait to do it. My mom gave me an old frame and glass that I could frame it in, so I was really excited. I had other options for Labor Day weekend, but I decided I didn't care about them, and that what I really wanted was to get this all put together. So I set out on what I figured would take a day.

*Ahem*

How wrong I was...! First of all, there was this brown paper from hell (I say that only because I truly feel that's where it came from. This is a place I speak of.) stuck on both sides of the glass that had probably been on there for years, to "protect" it. I spent ALL of Saturday scraping it off as carefully as possible so as not to scratch the glass underneath. Between Goo-be-gone, fingernail polish remover, and very sore fingernails, I managed to get it entirely clean by SUNDAY afternoon. Yyyyyeah. After that, I painted the frame (it looks very cool, by the way, and thank you...) and started on the puzzle. Due to the fact I kept working on it all Sunday and Monday, and I'm STILL not finished, I have concluded that this puzzle did not, in fact, take my family one measly little night to put together. Okay, so...there's a slight possibility - since there would have been at least seven people working on it instead of just me, but...REALLY!??!?! I had no idea this would be such a project!!! I ask you - how many red brick houses and little white picket fences can there BE in one puzzle?!?!? (Trust me. I know Nauvoo. There are NOT that many white picket fences!!!! In fact, I'm stitting here and can only think of maybe one. Eric Dowdle (the artist) if I ever meet you, you will feel the full fury of my wrath about your stupid little white picket fences!!!) And, of course, I am cursed with this inability to leave a project until it is finished, so the fact that it's still not done, and I had to go to work today makes me crazy! Lol. I laugh, not because that was a joke, but because it's either that or cry. I must finish that puzzle! But it makes me hurt to think about sitting for so much longer, desperately trying to finish it! Hahha!

Needless to say, I had to have something else to do while I was taking on this major project. Sooo...my roommate, Aubs, bought seasons 1 and 2 of Heroes recently, and I may or may not have watched season 1 in its entirety this weekend. All you friends and foes out there who judge me for watching that much tv in one weekend, I ask you to please remember the puzzle. And the stupid brown paper from - you know where.