"The fears are paper tigers..."

Question:
"Dee, I keep checking your blog, and it's the same post from forever ago. Um...what's the deal?"
- the five people who read my blog

Answer:
I have a problem.

-Dee

See that sign below? I feel like I've been standing in front of it for so long I can't remember a time before standing in front of this sign.

Show me a sign! Show me a sign!
Crap.
Stop showing me THIS sign!

Remember those anti-drug commercials of the 80's/90's?
"This is your brain."
Insert picture of normal, healthy brain.
"This is your brain on drugs."
Insert some version of picture below...

(okay, so maybe the picture wasn't scrambled eggs...I can't remember for sure right now. But that's what I think I remember. haha.)

Yuck. Who wants scrambled brains? Not me. So...I never took drugs. HAHA. The irony of it all, however, is that I ended up just the same:

this is my brain on decisions.

AGGRAVATION!!

I'm serious. Something needs to change; something HAS to change. I can it feel all the time, but every time I try to make some kind of change:

enter brick wall.

New Job?
Same Job?
Grad school?
Grad school for free?
Grad school for $$$NOT FREE$$$?
Choir?
Move?
Stay?
*%#@^&!!!
STOP!!!

It's even frustrating to BLOG about! I get tired of thinking about it, trying to figure things out, and then I just tell myself: "Hey, get a grip. Your life is just fine. The grass is not always greener." That only works for so long, and then the horrid cycle starts all over again.

Hello, headache. :)

Aaaaanyway.

See? This is why I don't blog right now. Who wants to read this?! Haha. It's not like I haven't tried: there are probably a dozen drafts sitting in my Posts. Do they get published? NOPE. Writing usually helps me figure things out. Not anymore! These days, I just sit in front of my journal and stare; unable to even process the head mush into something of substance. EW.

What is wrong with me?!?!
Good GRIEF.

"The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward."
-Amelia Earhart

Don't worry - I have a whole list of good decisions. The only problem with this list? I can't do everything all at once...and everything overlaps. It's down to the waiting game that has become my life. I'm probably just freaking out over the waiting.

* sigh *
Right?

I'll let you know when the world stops spinning.