Merry Christmas, Rodney

Last night was one of those nights I wasn't sure was going to work out all that well.

Per the usual, I had overlapping events.

This is not because I don't know how to say no. It's not.

It's just because I think I can do everything all the time.

Right?

So I might've been an hour late to a work party last night....

and they might have been waiting on me for my portion of the food.

Oops.

But I have a really good reason.

This week is our dark week (week without shows) for Savior of the World because the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert is this week. 

So instead of shows, there have been a few service/fireside opportunities.

Last night, we met at a care center in Pleasant Grove to sing and do a program for the residents. 

They were so beautiful.

It's always fun for me to go and sing anywhere, doing most anything.

But there's something extra special to me about singing in rest homes.

Last night was no exception. At the end of the program, we closed with "Silent Night" and started moving out into the audience to find someone to sing to/sit by while we sang the song. I went straight to Rodney. I'd met him at the very beginning of the night. He was sitting quietly by the door, just minding his own business, but I decided I wanted to know who he was. We had a nice, albeit brief, chat before the program started. But at the end of the program, I knew exactly who I wanted to sit by. I walked back to him, and there was only just barely enough room for me to kneel in front of him, and just hold his hand. He was so happy to have someone near! I couldn't help but cry, and he sang right along with me, with a clear, happy twinkle in his eye. His hands were shaking the whole time, but his happiness was so strong in that moment. I haven't felt that much love and pure joy in a long time, and it was just  from holding Rodney's hand and singing "Silent Night" with him. 

He might not know it, but I just love him. He changed my night, and suddenly the busyness of my little life lately just melted away and everything became completely worth it. He helped me FEEL a little more of the love of my Heavenly Father, and of the reality of our Savior's birth.

I told him Merry Christmas before I left, and thanked him for letting me sit with him.

He took my hand, looked right up at me, and said, 

"Merry Christmas, and a cool yule to you too, Dee." 

(We were on a friend name basis by then, of course.) 

First he made me cry, and then he made me laugh. 

Someone please explain the miracle of service to me. Sometimes I think I know what it means, and then I feel like I have to rediscover it all over again. I gave him next to nothing, but it came back to me ten-fold. There wasn't even room enough to receive it. Sound familiar?

I think my heart grew three sizes last night, and I'm not even the Grinch. ;)

I left wishing I could shout "Merry Christmas!" from every rooftop.

Oh, and I'm moving on Saturday because Heavenly Father answers prayers...so I won't be homeless. :)

Just fyi.

So, the end of November came, and then my life turned up-side-down.

Gratitude will change your life.

At least that's my conclusion after a month of doing my best to focus on it, and then seeing what it did to my life....

The last two days of November consisted of a sudden influx of interviews. For new jobs.

I've been officially looking since August, and had a few bites, but nothing was sticking yet.

Until November was about to be over, and apparently that's when everything was supposed to change.

November was my last month of working for EFY.

At first, that made me incredibly sad. Four years didn't really fly by, but there are some people in that office that feel like family to me. AND I had to say goodbye to all the teachers, which may have broken my heart more than theirs, but...it really was tough to say goodbye.

Uh...until I'm sitting here a week after accepting a new job and I'm ALREADY breathing easier, and I won't be scraping by from paycheck to paycheck anymore.

Freaking finally.

In the mess of all the hubbub, I also sold my apartment contract.

My home is beautiful, and my roommates are the nicest.

But I kept feeling like I should move, though I had no idea where I'd move.

I finally followed through. (go me.)

And my contract sold THAT DAY.

So in one day, I accepted a new job (at BYU, in the Registration department...that's the short version) and sold the roof over my head.

I still have no idea where I'll be living in January. Zero, zilch. Nada. 

Um, are you reeling yet? Because I was.

Sometimes I think Heavenly Father likes to see me freak out. He finds it entertaining because HE knows it's all going to turn out, but good grief.

Savior of the World is still the best idea in my life at Christmastime. I'm so incredibly grateful for how it continues to change my life by strengthening my testimony. I'm not sure words alone could ever express how much I love the combination of music...and the gospel. 

Speaking of which, I start MoTab on January 5th. That's so soon!

 With change always comes the bittersweet. First, I left some incredible co-workers of four years (whom I do not have pictures of...DANG IT.) and then my roommates and fellow friends from the ward will all be different come January 1. 

But meanwhile, we've gone to so many freezing Christmas light displays, and had such fun...I'm grateful I got to spend some time with these crazy kids. :) 

And I just have to give a shout out to Miss Whitney here. This girl is made of gold, ladies and gents. She has more positive energy than I can even comprehend sometimes, but I have learned so much from her in this run of the show! She loves life, and loves the gospel even more. 

My new co-workers are taking me out for Thai food today. 

YUM.

My little sister has a concert tonight in SL just before my show, and I'll actually get to see most of it!

I love my new job.

Prayers are getting answered ALL OVER THE PLACE...

The only thing left is finding a new roof over my head, preferably in the next week or so since...I don't think a cardboard box will be very warm in Januray.

I'm pretty sure that prayer will be answered as well, but...ah, if only patience came now! 

hahahah.

Ahem.

But really...

Welcome, December. EVERYTHING is different. 

...And not a moment too soon...

Day 27 and 28. Did you order Chinese?

Um, I'm doing one thing for both days because I had this for dinner last night and then for lunch today, and I can't get ENOUGH of it.

Egg drop soup. Homemade. Yummy in my tummy. It adds to appeal that it took about 5 minutes to make. 

It also makes me want to watch "Two Weeks Notice"

Also, I really need a Chinese delivery place I can call and ask for two #7s and four #3s. 

The only downside is it made me miss Cali. AGAIN. :) Cal, remember all those times we went for our favorite Cache Valley Chinese?

P.S. I'm sending you happy thoughts of fried rice. I know how you love it, especially these days ;)

Ahhhhhh....yum. :)

hahah...I know. It's terrible. But I kept laughing about it all day yesterday...

Did you order Chinese?

Okay, I'm sorry. That's enough of me today.

P.S. For those who wanted the recipe, It's pretty complicated. :)
You just need to buy a packet of this:

That's Sun-Bird Egg Drop Soup Mix. I found mine at the local Macey's grocery store.
I think the mix is maybe $2. Maybe.

Are you sick of my gratitude yet?

Day 24

Thanksgiving day was fantastic. I came home Wednesday night to my dad making homemade bread and homemade ham & cheese rolls...and we all stayed up eating them and laughing around the kitchen table until...who even knows. Maybe 2 or 3 in the a.m. 

I went on a run that morning, and reminded my body how long it had been since I'd gone running. Oops. But I'm still grateful I can run. :) 

Did I mention Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday? Well it is. 

Day 24 merges with Day 25 though, because...

Day 25

We stayed up way too late watching Thor and Captain America. I officially can't wait for The Avengers. 

 I didn't work out at all that day. We all fell asleep on mattresses in the front room. It was the best time I've had with my family in a long time. My dad made a mountain of pancakes for breakfast. 

My mom told me to paint a picture of what I want in my life, and to go for it. It doesn't matter how old I get, I still have to keep figuring it out. * sigh *  It was a bummer to leave them to go do the show that night...

Except I still love every single night of that show.

Aaand Whitney, Suellen, Kristen and I might have had our favorite pizza at The Pie that night after the show. Mmmm...thank you, Salt Lake. :)

Day 26

My whole family came to Savior of the World today. It was so nice to have them there! We ate dinner at The Blue Lemon afterward (SO good) and there might have been gingerbread hot chocolate outside in the cold, and I might have loved every sip. So fantastic. 

Day 27

"The blessings of the spirit are found just outside your comfort zone."

Those were the words I desperately needed to hear today as I sat in sacrament meeting at church. It's not scripture, just someone's words. But I needed them. So many times in my life, I've found myself almost ready to take that leap for whatever my next goal is. But every now and again, that creepy comfort zone comes in and, admittedly, makes change seem next to impossible.

I also met a 19-year-old girl who talked to me about how she was nervous to change her life direction. She had been going to beauty school but decided she wanted to keep that as a hobby and go back to school and get her degree in something else. It was so easy to assure her that things WOULD work out...that changing your direction doesn't mean you're behind. It was one of those moments that my own personal experience helped me assure her that her changes would work out. It wasn't until we were done talking that I realized where that came from. It wasn't just me. It was the spirit assuring me she'd be okay, and for some reason I was privileged enough to be the one to tell her.

I didn't mean to, but later in the meeting I saw her writing that our conversation was an answer to her prayers. I felt bad even seeing that, but it made me want to cry. Haha. In a good way. 

Then this scripture was mentioned later on in the meeting...

"And now verily I say unto you, and what I say unto one I say unto all, be of good cheer, little children; for I am in your midst, and I have not forsaken you."

Doctrine & Covenants 61:36

And then I realized that conversation hadn't just been for her. It had been for me too. Heavenly Father doesn't want me to be afraid to change things if I need to. He doesn't want any of us to be afraid. He doesn't want any of us to forget that he really has us in his sight. 

To top it all off, I actually had time to write in my journal today. That hasn't happened in...longer than I care to admit. It always makes me feel better about life and...reminds me to stop freaking out about the stupid stuff. :) It reminds me that Heavenly Father truly does love us. 

Everything will work out.

Day 22 and 23

Day 22:

It was my little sister Kristen's birthday! Happiest Birthday to my knock-out little sis. :) She's supposed to stay 12 forever. I'm not sure she got the memo...

Also, 

That's what I've been spending half my time doing these days, and I am more and more grateful for the opportunity every night I am blessed to be involved. It's simple, but it's probably my favorite way to spend the Christmas season: always being reminded of why we're celebrating. I am humbled by the faith and strength of those who waited and anticipated his birth, and filled to overflowing with hope by the testimonies, growth, and faith of those who knew Him in life, and who help me understand his resurrection and the promise of his second coming. I'm constantly amazed by the generosity and goodness of the people in the cast, and the plan of our loving Heavenly Father for everyone. It is changing my testimony all the time...helping it grow in ways I didn't know it would. Last night I filled in for my lovely counter-part in the other cast, and you would think giving up that much more of my time would be difficult...

Not in the least. 

Day 23:

This is beautiful, and it brought me to tears this morning. I am so incredibly grateful for the knowledge of the gospel in my life. I cannot say it enough. I am grateful I do not have to do this all on my own. Fear really will stop us from doing everything good, if we let it. But FAITH: faith will enable us to DO everything good, if. we. let. it. 

He truly will make ALL the difference. 

Let us go easy on ourselves, and on each other...and remember we're not in this alone. We have never-ending stores of strength available to us.

It is easy to forget...but worth every effort to remember.

Day 18, 19, 20, and oh yeah: 21.

Day 18:

I got a new coat. It's yellow. I love it. I'm uber grateful for it. I'm also grateful for the online discount code I found that made it oh so affordable, AND: Merry Christmas to me. For real. So Cali, no getting mad at me for buying another coat. You still won't trade me a baby for a coat. I think it's more than fair. 

It's also a lot cuter when I'm standing up and you can see the pleats.

#iknowihaveaproblem

#butAubreysfacecracksmeupinthispicture

Day 19:

Spent the night before and the next morning with some of my favorite girls on the planet for our dear Kaley's birthday. I miss them immensely. There's just something about being in the company of those who borderline know more about you than even your own family might. I just love them, and can name at least a dozen events in my life that would have sunk me to total and complete loss without them in my life.

Kaley thought it'd be a great idea for us to take a picture in front of the hotel sign. It was facing the sun, making picture-taking seriously painful after about the fourth try. :) This picture should have been a video because this was the sound as soon as each picture "took:" 

AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH OW! Oh my gosh, that hurts so bad! Why? Why? WHY? Why is the sun shining right in my eyes?!

"Guys, we have to take another one. My eyes were closed."

repeat sound from above.

HILARIOUS.

Watering eyes from laughter and owie...the pain, the pain!

hahah...

Day 20:

I wish I had an actual picture of this, but I don't because Tania and Mel were the responsible ones taking pictures, but we had a BOMB Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday with a bunch of people from our ward and the surrounding area. Mel and Tania spent all of Saturday making pies and other food that requires care and slaving over stoves. (I would have, but remember that show that's sort of taking over my life most of the week and every weekend? Okay, then. I didn't get home until late that night. Anyway.) The point it: it. was. amazing.

Our entire living room was turned into a banquet feast. Candles on the tables. Goblets. It was beautiful.

Great people. Great food. Great thanks. :)

Day 21:

On days that seem so busy and full of things that still somehow leave me feeling a little empty for the times in my life that have had days full of someone - I'm incredibly grateful for my life and my blessings. I have so much to fill my life, and so many people who more than fill my heart. I would never ask for the past to come back, but in a conversation with a friend last night, as he asked me what "good girls" want in a guy, I felt incredibly grateful for the relationships I have had that made me see the magic in love...and that it can in very fact be enduring...even though it has yet to stay in my own life. I know it will one day. 

But at least I know something of that feeling: and for that, I am a very grateful girl.

Even when it all seems like it was for naught, I just don't think it is.

Because I can still remember those moments that left me a little breathless - and overwhelmingly grateful.

That's my own rambling, I know...but I make sense to myself at least. :)

So Monday, I found myself reflecting on and being grateful for what I know of love, and for the chance I'll have again someday to know more.

"You'll always be love's great martyr, and I'll be the flattered fool, and I need you."

"We are stitched together, and what love has tethered, I pray to never undo."

I'm just grateful for every day I have to learn a little more and to be a little better than the day before.

Day 17: I'm never drinking out of a styrofoam cup ever again in my entire life.

 I actually got to spend an entire evening with my roommates tonight. I never see them (or anyone else) anymore besides my co-workers, and people in my cast of the show. 

But tonight? 

We went to a preview of Breaking Dawn: Part 1. And even thought it was typically twilight terrible (it had no hope of being anything else, let's be honest...read the book anyone?) we still had a great time. :) 

Um, I also had a giant, overpriced Dr. Pepper. 

Also some nachos.

But they were the worst nachos ever, so I only had about four before I slid them under my seat.

Blech.

Okay, now brace yourself. I'm about to divulge some non-essential deets on this box-office slammer. Don't worry, it won't spoil your movie experience. Then again, if it does...I...have...a few movie suggestions for you to help ease the suffering.

So anyway.

I've never felt nauseous drinking DP, but when she drinks that blood out of the styrofoam cup with the lid and the straw?

I almost lost it right then and there.

But I get it now. THAT'S why people don't have vampire babies.

Noted.

Sick, Stephenie Meyer. 

Sick sick sick. 

Even worse than the grammar and editing in the last book.

Of course, two minutes later I got over it and managed to settle semi-comfortably back into the vampire/werewolf world. I took another sip of my DP and found myself wondering why Emmett and Carlisle didn't look hot in this movie. 

Travesty. 

Thank goodness for Jacob's abs. 

Although...teeheehee...

While we're on the subject, did we notice cute little Jacob's scruff? 

He's so grown up right now. Bahahah. :) 

Also, I need a honeymoon on an island in Brazil. 

Yep, pretty sure that's happening.

Uh, except...minus the whole weepy vampire husband aspect.

And chess. There will be no chess games on my honeymoon.

Also, if I could have spring blossoms and lights dripping from every corner of my wedding, that'd be fine too.

Though I always sort of wanted a fall wedding.

Okay okay, I'll take her wedding dress as well. 

My roommate Tania had to bring royalty into it, which I'm not sure was entirely appropriate, but she kind of had a point: 

Kate Middleton, you just got one-upped by a vampire.

Well, almost.

Almost vamp, almost one-upped.

Actually, I take that back. Princesses win over vampires.

Especially when I'm pretty sure the princess could so take that little wannabe vampire out in a second.

Have you seen Kate's muscles? 

Have you seen Bella curl up in a ball and cry?

I rest my case.

Also, Kate's wedding dress would require virtually no modesty alterations should I happen to wear it.

What is happening to me?

Ahem. So now we're sitting in our living room and I'm half watching tv/half listening to the roommates laugh hysterically about planning a Thanksgiving dinner and make up terrible mash-ups of Gilmore Girls, Grey's anatomy, the local news, and Twilight.

Nobody is on drugs here, but if we had play-back, I bet it would cause some to wonder...

Hahah. Everybody needs their own version of my night tonight.

May you have yours very soon.

...minus the styrofoam cup, of course...

Day 16: I'm still thinking about the fresh basil.

Today I'm grateful for fresh tomatoes with fresh BASIL.

Can we talk about how GOOD fresh basil smells? 

And tastes.

ooookaaay. 

I'm grateful today for amazing pizza in my life last night. A big thank you to "The Pie" for being open really really late, for being underground, not so crowded, and for the Dr. Pepper. 

...even more grateful for the people in my life who also happened to be there. Some I knew better than others, but it never ceases to amaze me how good people are.

Savior of the World opens this week. I love everything about this.

Life. Is. SO. Good.

I applied for 15 jobs yesterday. 

15. 

That goes with yesterday because it was Day 15. 

I just forgot to mention it because I was too busy enjoying that BASIL on my PIZZA.

Whew. :)

Day 15

Today I'm grateful for my mom. It's her birthday after all!

Happy birthday, momma. :)

Day 14: May the odds ever be in your favor...

I couldn't help it. 

Today I'm grateful for the casting director of The Hunger Games, and that he understood how HOT Gale needs to be. :) 

...er...pardon. :)

Day 13 and how a five minute song was an answer to prayer.

I could say a lot of different things about today. :)

I heard this song on the way to church this morning, and though I'd never heard it before (that I can recall) I remember thinking it was pretty and I liked the words.

Then tonight I went to a fireside for the Savior of the World casts, since we open this week. 

It was a beautiful insight into the why of the show.

It's less a cast of performers, and more a group of people who really just desire to share their testimony of the life of the Savior.

I've really been trying to figure out how to be a better window for those who come to the show to know and feel of my testimony of Him so they can come to know Him a little better as well.

Sometimes that perspective is really easy to find. There have been nights of rehearsal when I'm constantly reminded what He has done for me, and how my life has been so incredibly blessed; both in happiness and in trials, and my only struggle in those times is in how to fully express my gratitude to Him so others can truly feel and come to know even more.

But other days are more difficult - I find a cloud settling over me that seems to block my ability to feel of His love, just for a moment. It's frustrating, to say the least.

But somehow that cloud is always lifted, and tonight was no exception.

Among other beautiful experiences shared, and words of wisdom, I came away from tonight so grateful for the trials I have had, and the knowledge that the greatest "disappointments" and waiting periods of my life have always resulted in some great blessing, or preparation for blessings. Zacharias and Elizabeth both had unrealized expectations/unfulfilled dreams for year after year. Yet they lived faithful lives, and the Lord truly did keep His promises to them. 

This concept isn't just important to me so I can be honest on stage. It's a life principle, and I'm growing to love it, even if it's a little tough love. :)

I could write page after page of what I was feeling and learning tonight, but suffice it to say I left with great comfort, as well as a nice list of things to work on this week to be more open and more able to give...I hope!

Then, on the drive home, the radio was on, and the song from this morning came on again.

But his time, I heard the words even more clearly, and it was a definite answer to prayers. :)

So today I'm grateful for the trials of this life, and the preparation they allow me for the greater blessings I know a loving Heavenly Father has in store for me, and for all of us.

Day 12

This one is simple:

I got to spend some time with my family tonight after rehearsal, and it was just nice.

Life isn't perfect. Sometimes it's even really hard. But there's something about being around family that just helps remind me of what might be out of perspective.

They're not perfect, and neither am I. But I love them more than anything.

We all went to watch Kristen in her high school play, which was the most fun for me because I could tell she was having the time of her LIFE, and I love seeing her so happy. :)

Then we went to celebrate Adam's 13th birthday (HOW is he a teenager?!) with as much cheesecake and ice cream as we could muster.

I might've had bread and milk too. Just because sometimes I want it when I'm with my family. It's comfort food, get over it. :)

My nephews are the cutest. I'm being dead serious. 

I'm so grateful for my family, no matter what.

...and Thanksgiving can't come soon enough. :)

Day 11 was just brimming with ONES.

11.11.11

This girl got married:

(the one in the wedding dress, of course...) :)

Jenny is one of the best people I know, and in marrying Adam, she married the perfect guy for her. From the day after her first date with him when she told me she had a surprisingly good time making custard with him, to this beautiful day when I was privileged to be among those who love her in the Logan temple, (on 11.11, at 11:11. No joke.) I just think it's proof of the goodness of life. I am grateful for the love of my Heavenly Father shown to me through the people He blesses my life with. :)

AND my friend Carla had her baby! First one, came on 11.11.11. Coolest birthday ever. LUCKIEST little girl on the planet - she totally scored in the parent department. But I don't have a picture of that. I just couldn't leave it out on an 11.11.11 post. 

Weddings and babies. :) Day 11 did pretty well for itself, I'd say.

Day 10 is double digits, and therefore two-fold.

I learned last night that when you feel like you should pray for someone, and you do it, they can feel it.

Sometimes they might even know it was you who prayed for them. 

It makes me wonder how many times in my life when, as I've felt comfort, if it was a direct result of someone praying for me. Specifically. I pray for others often, and I sometimes forget it's a real thing - that brings REAL results. 

I think last night was the first time in my life I've had such immediate proof that it really does happen. Tears, love, and gratitude were all involved. My testimony was increased. 

It was humbling, comforting, and undeniable.

I already knew prayer was real, but starting today, I will try not to take prayer for granted. Not only will I pray with more specific intent as I go and do in my life, but I will pay more heed and know that the Lord truly does hear us. Every. single. word: every. single. time. 

So today I'm grateful for that, and a testimony that has the potential to grow by leaps and bounds every day of my life.

Also, today I'm grateful for these:

I used to almost live on them while singing every day in Nauvoo. They are my sickness go-to now and forevermore.

They helped me sleep last night, and are carrying me through the work day today.

Random sickness would be misery without them. :)

Day 9 BSB forever

Today I'm grateful beyond words that things like this exist:

It brings genuine joy to my everlasting teenage soul.

I don't think anything else really needs to be said about that.

...except when you comment on how we're SO GOING ON THIS CRUISE...

Day 8

Meet my current "scripture journal."

I love those quiet little moments of reflection when I can really just write things down; ways I want to be better, and how I think I might go about actually...being...better. Things I loved from my scripture study that day. A quote I loved from a general conference talk. Promptings I felt and didn't want to forget. It's always with me, in my purse, so I can write things down whenever I need to. Call me old fashioned, but even if I only have my phone with me, and I write it down digitally, it's only permanent to me when it's recorded in my little book. :) It helps me remember what's really important, and what I still need to work on as I go along in life. So really - haha - it's chuck full of my imperfections as well as insights of the good things. It helps me remember to follow through on good things and not just wish they'd happen already.

Today something was incredibly comforting, so I wrote it down.

Then I prayed about it, and now I'm going to work on it.

It always works...I just wanted you to know.

Heavenly Father is real, and He knows me personally, and He really cares.

Today I'm just grateful for everything that helps me know. :)

Day 7 on the road again!

Okay, so I'm not on the road. Currently. But I do love it when I am. :)

This past summer, I forgot to blog about certain roadtrips, and this possibly could warrant me ungrateful for my working car, vacation hours, incredible friends, and the little spare change required here and there in order to do so.

That's my really long way of saying I'm grateful for vacations. :)

Numero uno: Nauvoo with my literal sister, and two figurative ones. :) SO much driving...but SO much fun! I love Nauvoo, and I love love LOVE my sisters. :)

...and let's not forget the OMNI Cali Roadtrip...with people I love as much as life itself. :)

And then there was the quick San Fran with the fam. :)

Though my vacation hours may be depleted to almost nothing, what good are they, really, if they just sit there accumulating? :)

Using them means I'm grateful for them, right?

Right. 

P.S. Kaley...see how you made the blog? See?

Day 6 was a Sunday.

And I made my new favorite dinner: Cheesy Zucchini Enchiladas. 

Holy crap. 

You wouldn't think it would be that good...

but you'd be wrong.

The only problem is I want 10 because they taste so good.

But 1 filled me right up. 

...which is something else to be grateful for, considering my attempt to eat better, combined with that thing called working out that I love and only wish I had a regular schedule for again...

Seriously. Make them. Then tell me how much you loved them.

Or bring them to me if you hate them.

I'm grateful for good food, especially when it's simultaneously good for you.

Plus I love cooking...

so it's a big bonus of gratitude all around. :)

Day 5

Weekends are hard with the blogging. :)

But Day 5 was Saturday, and I was incredibly grateful for the seemingly endless rehearsals filling up my free time these days.

Being in Savior of the World during the holidays is a lot of work, but not really - at least not the kind of work that brings drudgery. :)

I'm grateful for the script. Every single word.

The people: oh my goodness, the people!

The music, the testimonies, and the opportunity to be part of it all. It's my favorite way to spend this holiday season, and it's only second time doing it, but I love it. 

If you want tickets, there are still available nights! I'm in the Wednesday night, Friday night, and Saturday matinee cast. But any night you can go would be worth your time. 

Also, it also snowed a LOT in Salt Lake on Friday night. Thank heavens for friends who live there, and who let me sleep under their roof. :) But another thing I was grateful for on Day 5? 

There were inches upon inches of snow on the ground the next morning. So beautiful. But by the time I got back to Orem later that afternoon? No snow. :) I just wasn't ready for the snow at my doorstep quite yet. 

Day 4

Aaand the gratitude today goes to a somewhat small corner of my life.

Sometimes I take sanity-saving walks for a few minutes during the day.

There's just something about the sunshine and the outdoors that just...makes sitting inside at a desk seem a little less dreary. :)

And today, as I walked back to my office from the tiny little creamery in this little corner of campus, I thought for a minute of my own college days...when I worked in Aggie Ice Cream (for some reason the small creamery always reminds me of AIC) and how I'm glad I don't work there anymore, but I still miss days with the Aggie Ice Cream Rap,courtesy of Kara, Marni, and Megan, with me crying laugh tears on the sidelines.) :)

Those were fun days. 

That was a tangent. :)

But this is today, and I've developed a strange love for this little corner of my world...especially in the fall!

 Say hello to my little afternoon scripture study bench. Nobody is ever there, so it's perfect in its tranquility.

 And those are the majestic mountains I see every day, as I'm about to enter the building for the next 8 hours or so...and I still think they're breathtaking. :)

And last night was full of little grateful moments:

30 uninterrupted minutes of scripture study, sitting in the North Visitor's Center on Temple Square on the benches by the Christus statue while I waited for my vocal assessment for MoTab.

That vocal assessment was the most singing fun I've had in a while. :)

A friend's wedding reception where I met a few more choir members, and I keep getting that "right place" feeling. I love the relief that brings.

The realization I'm going to be spending a WHOLE LOT more time on Temple Square. 

Whew.

But once again, I digress.

I just loved the walk outside today in the middle of my work day. That's all. :)

Day 3, fat boy.

Haha, today's is funny. At least to me. :)

I mean, you can do what you want...my dearly beloved roommates say November 1st is the day Christmas music is acceptable.

My little sister joyfully proclaims from facebook status that her bus driver turned on the Christmas tunes.

Thanksgiving traitors. 

Today I'm grateful for the turkey. :)

Thanksgiving is 100% my favorite holiday. 

Hands down.

Gratitude Day 1. Oh, and Day 2.

I probably need to be more grateful for everything in my life. So I'm going to find one thing every single day and post it here. It's possible I'll get behind by a few days, but the goal is to find one thing every day. Some days it might be creative, but other days it might just be simple. So if you hate gratitude, or the stuff I'm grateful for...just come back in December. ;)

Day 1:

President Monson came and spoke at the devotional at BYU today. How lucky am I to work in the building right next to the Marriott Center, and I can go to devotional anytime I want? I walked over in the cold to a seat a friend was kind enough to save for me, and loved the opportunity to just sit and re-fuel on the words of a living prophet.

"When you choose to follow Christ, you choose to be changed."

He is always so positive, I can't help but be lifted every time I hear him speak. His words of love and testimony were just what I needed in that very moment. 

“Look inside yourself. You are more than what you have become. Remember who you are. Remember. 

You are a son or a daughter of our Heavenly Father.”

So on Day 1, I am grateful for the words of a living prophet, and my proximity to hearing them in person. 

Day 2:

I'm grateful for a body that works.

...And a chiropractor to fix it when it doesn't. :)

The view from here...

"Every time you give your all, your capacity INCREASES." 

That was from rehearsal last Saturday for "Savior of the World." Our music director said that as she was encouraging us to give more, and go beyond our own boundaries. That idea had never occurred to me in matters of the heart, or the spirit. In exercise or physical endurance? Sure. But when it comes to how much I have to give? I'd never put it into exactly those words, but I'm so grateful SHE did because it goes right along with the overriding theme of my brain these days, which is basically: Don't ever hold back, don't ever let something stop you from being you, from expressing your talents, from becoming more, from fulfilling every aspect of who you are, who you want to be, and where you feel directed to go. Clearly the italics indicate a stream of my thoughts... :)

There are a lot of things I don't know, a lot I don't understand. But I do know that eventually things fall into place, albeit for a season, until they get scrambled up again. :) But this new song from Hilary Weeks just made me really appreciate so much more the troubles we go through because, as she says,

"Every fear, every doubt, all the pain I went through was the price that I paid to see this view."

Listen to those lyrics. I think she found them in my journal from the past few months. :) Sometimes I think I really do have a great plan, and I take it to my Heavenly Father, and I go forward, sure He will see my wisdom in my well-thought out plans. :) Sometimes those plans work out, but more often than not, it requires some upside-down-ing of my life for me to finally understand what a loving God has been trying to tell me all along: that He has a perfect; a beautiful plan all in store for me, and I just need to be 100% more trusting of that which I cannot see, and know that HE...can. :)

Then there's this guy in the video below...the other thing I need reminders about sometimes is that EVERY effort is worthwhile. One of my favorite quotes is from Neal A. Maxwell:  

"Love is never wasted, for its value does not rest on reciprocity."

AH! I love that, and even better...I think I finally believe it. No matter what we're doing, be it big or small, all our efforts matter to the Lord. Love is never wasted, and neither are our efforts. Change your major a million times if you have to. No education is truly wasted. Experience dozens of "failed" relationships: they are NOT for naught. :) The point is that we're learning, that we're serving, and we're growing. It is not necessarily in the immediate happy ending, or in the exact fulfillment of our dreams. You can make every second of anything you do: count. 

And that's what I love about his message: "rescuing" her shoes seemed so little in his mind, until he found out much later how much that simple, random act actually meant to her. So in that sense, our efforts in anything in life, be it grand or minute...it's all for good if we'll let it be so. 

So, with that said: in case you hadn't heard on crazy facebook, or through the grapevine:

I made it. The Mormon Tabernacle Choir said yes.

And in that moment, with that letter of congratulations in my hand, struggling to overcome the dumbfounded awe I felt flooding over me, I had to look heavenward and say thank you. I had to acknowledge that He clearly knows better than I do. 

Grad school was a no. That was rough.

Still on the job hunt.

And that whole best friend for the rest of my life and forevermore hunt. That one.

But this one finally kicked in: one of the things on my "list" of things I knew I needed to do/change.

That's the one that worked.

And I'll tell you this much: it's NOT because I'm amazing. It's because my Heavenly Father expects far more of me than I generally expect of myself, and without fail: whenever I rise to the occasion, he helps me see the incredible view I could never have seen without His help. I would have been content with a cottage in the glen, but He keeps making me climb all these crazy mountains. :)

So, as the song says,

"Every fear, every doubt, all the pain I went through was the price that I paid to see this view."

It's for real. 

I love this view. :)

He knows much better, so trust Him.