A tumultous DTR with the Universe

Sometimes in my life, I feel the need to sit down with what Alaina and I used to refer to as "the Universe."  This is the entity I choose to argue with when things happen in life that make mewant to stand up and say "ARE YOU KIDING ME?" to someone, but then realize there's no one really to...blame? Hmmm...hope that makes sense...

Solution: yell at the Universe.  *shrug*  Totally works for me.  :)

The latest run-down made me realize the points the universe have been racking up are actually more positive than negative.  (That is, if we count them in number rather than in extremity.)  So here's DeeAura, sitting down with said Universe and having a serious heart to heart/giving it a piece of my mind.

Prepare yourself. 

Unless you feel this is too personal and you'd rather gouge your eyes out than read another post by me.  But, uhm, if that's the case, you're the ridiculous one because you're actually still reading this.

I digress.

Encounter #1:
Monday was a paid holiday.  Thank you, MLK.  I went snowboarding. I also bought a new jacket for the occasion.  Okay, so I bought it last week.  But still. I love it.  Also, I should learn to take my camera with me for purposes such as proving it on a blog.  For now, you'll have to make do with this coat and your imagination.  I'm loving everything about this season pass business.

In that moment, I loved the universe.  :)

Encounter #2:

But uh...this is what happened to my knee after hitting some serious ice on Monday while snowboarding:

If you think that's unsightly, you should have seen it on MONDAY.  Ugh.My knee should be about 3x smaller than that.  Ew, ew, EW.  Angry DeeAura.

The universe and I are fighting.

Encounter #3:
But THEN...this came in the mail yesterday morning:

HAHAH.  That's because, a few weeks ago, I referred former bf (still a fantastic person in my book...don't get me wrong in my references, thanks) to the place I go for an oil change.  I opened the letter, saw the money, and just stood there in the kitchen, laughing to myself...with this sort of smirk on my face..and...just basked in the irony of the situation. :)  $10 doesn't really make up for the bf situation, but...hahha...

I decided to forgive the universe because it clearly has a fabulous sense of humor.  :)  

Seriously though...when was the last time you made some honest cash off your former bf?  Okay, then.  :)

P.S.  You should go get your oil changed there. I'll split my winnings with you. I promise.


Encounter #4:
Then this morning, I woke up to blaring alarms, flashing lights, fire trucks, flooding in our apartment building, and firemen.  At 5 a.m. Having my sleeping privileges unceremoniously ripped from my death grip, running around with stunning hair, in my sweats, and my glasses?  It's no wonder I had to fight the firemen off...uh...yeah, no. 

 Uh - Universe. Really. Really?? I'm not sure how you'd like me to react. Do you have anything to say for yourself?

But then again...Encounter #4 resulted in an innocent facebook post with what is now 62 comments.  You might just think I'm popular, (and you'd be semi-correct in your assumption) but really - it's all because there are some hands down HILARIOUS people in my ward.  How often does a flooding crisis in your apartment building turn into something that makes you want to roll on the floor laughing?  I love me some OMNI crowd.

I'd list it here, but that's just the longest post ever and entirely uncalled for.  You can look it up on FB if you feel the need.  And really - if you need a good laugh, I'd look it up if I were you.  Lately, I just can't get enough of these folks.  Top notch, every single one of 'em.

...Okay, okay, Universe.  I think we're approaching square.  That's 2 for 2...but...almost 3. Hmm. I haven't entirely forgiven you, as your offenses have admittedly been somewhat dramatic. Admit it. However. I suppose if we look at the TECHNICAL scores of the past week...there have been a million more reasons to be on good termsrather than cursing your name every other day or so.

* sigh * 

Fine.  

As long as I still love you more than I don't love you, we can continue on good terms.

But seriously, stop messing with me. 

M'kay, thanks.  :)

Just punch 'em in the face.

"If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face.

Oh sure, it seems obvious now, but you’d be amazed at how many people don’t think of it when it’s relevant.

Seriously, punch them in the face and go get some ice cream."

--Chuck Klosterman

HAHAH!  I know, I know.  I would never.  

I don't even like ice cream.

It's a little tiny bit funny, though...  :)

Forgiveness and moving on is the better way to go in the long run, however.  I know that.  

Don't worry, I'm only partially immature.

Want to know the mature thing I know today?

Okay, I'll tell you.

Attitude makes all the difference.  It really does.  Choosing to make the best of any moment is the turning point in every circumstance.  Choosing to laugh at myself instead of becoming embarrassed or defensive can take the venom out of any potentially poisonous thoughts or actions.  This is not to say I am perfect at doing this all the time.  I'm still figuring it all out.  BUT - I really do think it is entirely possible to take any circumstance and make it into something productive and positive instead of the alternative.  

For example - story time.  :)  Your favorite.

Exhibit A: Crap Cookies

So there I was, making cookies with a boy I used to date.  I had used this recipe a million times and it always made these really great cookies.  I was out to impress, okay?  I'm pretty sure it was the first time we had cooked anything together.  Anyway.  The last thing I was worried about was the cookies not turning out.  

But in my distraction, I didn't notice that we put margarine in the cookies instead of butter.  

In case you didn't know: margarine in cookies = no bueno.  The first batch came out flat and burned around the edges, with no consistency whatsoever.

I wanted to die.  I remember staring at the cookie sheet thinking..."What the...WHY??"  We literally had to scrape the cookies off the cookie sheet, and even though he made multiple comments about how they still tasted good...

UH - NO.  Not okay.  Those cookies look like crap, and I won't give them to anyone, let alone the people you home teach, thanks very much.  

That's the angry perfectionist in DeeAura talking, right there.

It was an awful time for me.  HAHAH.  I wouldn't even go back in his kitchen.  Hello, baby DeeAura.  Get a grip, girl!   No matter what he said, that was it.  In my mind? 

THERE WAS NO SOLUTION!  

Oh boy.  :)  Poor guys - sometimes we girls are just a lot to handle.  :)

The end.

In this case, I did not apply the "make everything positive" rule.  Ahem.

Unless you count the fact that I laugh about it now...  :)

Let's count that.

And on our left: International Relations

Once upon a time, I decided I should make this Brazilian dinner for the same boy.  You know, because I'm awesome like that.  Uh - the only thing I forgot to factor in, really, is my inability to speak Portugese?  Oopsie.  :)

Try communicating the need for tapioca flour at my local international market to a man who speaks about as much English as I speak Portugese.  :)  It's very funny.  ...NOW.  :)

We finally communicated enough to figure out he didn't have what I was looking for.  But he DID have a mix of what I was looking for!  No more of this need for a recipe!  Add water and stir?  Yes, please.  I can do that.  :)  I felt proud.

Then I got home and discovered the instructions on the bag were only in Portugese.

Uh-huh. Downer. Let me reiterate:  I don't speak Portugese, let alone READ it!

CRAP.  

After some digging through my many Brazilian resources...I found an online translator.  You know, the ones where you give then the text and they translate about every other line?  

If there's enough English mixed in with Portuguese, I can totally read it, FYI.  I think that's going on my next resume update.  :)

The end.

See?  

Do you see how the positive application changed that whole situation?  

Brilliant, you say?  

I KNOW!

...Nothing new, you say?  *sigh* I know.  :)

Ahem.  Okay, so it's easier to apply that to the absence of butter or my semi-inability to speak or read anything other than the English language. 

It's harder to apply that to real-life situations involving people's hearts, or the future...or any of the unknown.  Sometimes things just don't work out the way I think they will.  No matter how great my attitude is, or how hard I try.  

But - that's okay.  It really is! 

It really is entirely possible to make every situation positive on at least some level.  In fact, I'm starting to believe it is absolutely vital to progress and happiness to learn how to do so!

In much of life, we might not be able to change the actual circumstance.  I can't control someone else's choices - just as they cannot control mine.  That is as it should be.  But the one thing I CAN control is my attitude in each circumstance.  

And it's not just my attitude: I can control how much I let Heavenly Father help me get a better perspective on my life.  I can control how much I look back versus how much I move forward with faith that there must be a better plan, especially after I have done all I can do.  

There are many vessels that are destroyed after they have been molded and shaped. Why? Because they are not contented with the shape the potter has given them, but straightway put themselves into a shape to please themselves; therefore they are beyond understanding what God designs, and they destroy themselves by the power of their own agency, for this is given to every man and woman, to do just as they please. …

When a person is miserable, wretched, and unhappy in himself, put him in what circumstances you please, and he is wretched still. If a person is poor, and composes his mind, and calmly submits to the providences of God, he will feel cheerful and happy in all circumstances, if he continues to keep the commandments of God.

-Heber C. Kimball

"Your future is not determined by the conditions around you. It is determined by your faith, your choices, and your efforts." 

- Elder Paul V. Johnson.

Soooo I won't be punching anyone in the face.  :)  No need.  But I will always do exactly what the recipe says (whenever I have one) and update my resume to include partial language skills.  :)

It seems the only sensible thing to do in this case.  

Also, I hope it doesn't chalk me up some serious bad person points if that first quote is going to keep me laughing to myself on and off all day long.  :)  Even if I don't DO it...I still think it's funny.

Resolve: to be ridiculously happy. :)

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!  :)  I just wanted to take this opportunity to give a shout out to my very attractive sister and how friggin fantastic she is.  I love her, I love her, I love her.  She loves me too, even though I look like this (see above if you feel confused) a good portion of the time.  Charity?  I'd say so. 

Also, I think I'm in love with all things ridiculous and goofy lately.  Give me a reason, any reason.  I'm so sick of holding it in I might die.  :)  So, to encourage all forms of life worth living, I hereby proclaim 2011's resolution #26 out loud:

Be more ridiculous. 

Have more fun.   

Just. Be. Happier!

I think it's going to be very important.  :)  I'm pretty sure I'll make a great impact.  Also, you're welcome to join me.  All you need to do is not be afraid.   

 ...Already making a difference in 2011.  

You're welcome, world.  :)

In case you need a little inspiration: the credit for this goes out to Karisa Saunders.  

Also, I think I might need to be Jewish for a minute...

It might be a bit long, but all you really need to get from it is: if people were afraid to be ridiculous, things like this would NEVER happen.  

Which would clearly be a shame.  :)

Just keep swimming

Yesterday, I needed this talk on repeat for most of the day.  Okay, let's just make that this whole past week or so.  :)  

"Choose faith over doubt, choose faith over fear, choose faith over the unknown and the unseen, and choose faith over pessimism." - Richard C. Edgley

I am doing my best to go forward in something I do not want to do, but simultaneously feel like it is the right thing to do.  This thing very nearly breaks my heart, and there have been so many times already when I felt the need to cry out in actual physical pain because the effort required is so great.

There have been times I have questioned my decision...but following every moment of doubt comes that whispered reassurance of doing the right thing.  I don't know how long this is supposed to last...maybe forever?  Maybe for a little while?  I have no idea.  But the things I'm learning so far are incredibly valuable, which is maybe why they have pain involved as well.

Heavenly Father knows what He's doing.  I need Him more than anyone or anything else in my life.  I know he loves us, and He is so aware of our lives.  I just have to keep remembering that...even and especially at times when I feel like my heart is breaking.  One of my favorite parts of the atonement is its ability to heal our hearts, no matter what has happened to them. 

If you have the time...here it is so you can hear it.  Some of my favorite lines are below, though.  I remember this talk from conference, and being really struck by the fact that I am just as responsible for my lack of faith as I am for my store of it.  That the choice is mine.  CHOOSE faith.  I just needed this reminder...again...

Phew.  Deep, slow, deliberate breaths...


"Yes, faith is a choice, and it must be sought after and developed. Thus, we are responsible for our own faith. We are also responsible for our lack of faith. The choice is yours."


"What I don’t know or don’t completely understand, with the powerful aid of my faith, I bridge the gap and move on, partaking of the promises and blessings of the gospel. And then, as Alma teaches, our faith brings us to a perfect knowledge (see Alma 32:34). By moving forward into the unknown, armed only with hope and desire, we show evidence of our faith and our devotion to the Lord."


"If confusion and hopelessness weigh on your mind, choose to “awake and arouse your faculties” (Alma 32:27). Humbly approaching the Lord with a broken heart and contrite spirit is the pathway to truth and the Lord’s way of light, knowledge, and peace."


I have never witnessed the removal of an actual mountain. But because of faith I have seen a mountain of doubt and despair removed and replaced with hope and optimism. Because of faith I have personally witnessed a mountain of sin replaced with repentance and forgiveness. And because of faith I have personally witnessed a mountain of pain replaced with peace, hope, and gratitude. Yes, I have seen mountains removed.

• Because of my faith I work through the struggles and difficulties in life with peace and assurance.
• Because of my faith I have been able to turn questions and even doubts into assurances and understanding.
• Because of my faith I approach the unknown, unseen, and unexplained with unquestioning assurance. 
• And because of my faith—even in the seemingly worst of times—I recognize with peace and gratitude that in reality it is the best of times.

 So there you have it.  Until I feel or know that things should be otherwise, I am moving forward in this new direction.  Every step is difficult.  But I also know I have so much help from a Heavenly Father whose vision far exceeds my own. 

And just for good measure, this year?  Move forward.  Don't look back.  :)  Everything always works out the in end...as long as we keep working, and keep going.