Dear Monday, This post might be your fault.

"Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."

That's the sign I saw taped to the desk of my 7th grade English teacher's desk for an entire year. Inwardly, I groaned. That same sign was in my 2nd grade teacher's classroom as well. And she had meant business. I always felt a little stab of urgency. It struck fear in my heart. The pressure was now on. Yes, as a second grader, I felt the pressure.

Surprisingly, this is not a journey down the road of my elementary school years. I have a point with all of this. But first, let me describe for you the kind of student I was all through elementary school:

I was usually the kid who "took names" for the teacher when she stepped out of the room. I loved standing in the front, holding the chalk. I. had. the. power. Whew. Big things for such a little girl. :) My desk was always organized. My crayons were in one spot, my pencils in another...actually, you know those little divits under the desk just long enough for about 1.5 pencils? Yeah, that's where my pencil was. ALWAYS. I always turned my homework in on time. The only time I ever got in trouble was when I was reading too much. That's right.
I read too much.
Whatever. The thing that bugged me the most growing up was when I was late to school. I had no control over if I was late or not, as I depended upon my parents to get me to school most times. Walking into a classroom filled me with more dread than getting sent to the principles office. ...This is probably why my mother eventually made me walk to school. I wouldn't be such a fussy pain if it was my own fault I was late! haha. Call me teacher's pet, I guess. I hated having authority displeased with me. Hated it.

In fact, to this day, if I am late to anything...even meetings, that same dread comes back. I'd almost rather miss the whole thing. Or die. Either option always sounds much better to me.

Anyway. Then came 7th grade. More people to please. And by people, I mean teachers. When I first saw that sign, I remember distinctly sitting a little straighter in my chair, and thinking "Well, you won't ever have to worry about that with me!" Because...well...remember my pleasing problem? It has its pros and cons. :) I was pretty good at school in those days...in fact, school was my favorite thing. And I mean EVER.

Then I met math. Mean, crusty old math. If I could make the devil a school subject, he'd be math. Particularly, he'd be Algebra 1, or possibly Statistics. Actually, he'd probably be Statistics. But in 7th grade, I didn't know about the horrors of Stats. I knew Algebra 1. Pre-Algebra and I got along swimmingly. But if I'd seen that horrible, awful, no good, very bad sign in my MATH class:

(in case you forgot what it looked like)

I probably would have cried tears. ...Not that this stopped math from making me cry.

DeeAura
+ 4 hours of math homework
+ not getting a single problem right the first time
= TEARS

And yes. I made that equation up all by myself.

Math taught me I needed mercy sometimes. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't do stupid math without help. This was quite the blow to my independent self. I spend more time on my math homework than all my other subjects combined. Times 3. (See? There I go again. Using math. Who said we wouldn't use math in our every-day lives?! Oh. Me. Anyway.) I came to appreciate those people who could be patient with me in my insecurities, my miserable failings, and helped me not to feel embarrassed when I had clearly not even met my own expectations. All this to show I am not completely heartless, nor do I consider myself merciless when it comes to things that should be, in a perfect world, fixed and immovable.

Things like deadlines.
And rules.
And order.
And Consistency.

All these things are what make me grit my teeth fairly often at work. I'm not talking about emergencies. Life doesn't go as planned. I get that. I experience that. C'mon! Who doesn't?! THOSE people, and those circumstances are completely understandable, and I love being able to help someone who needs it. In fact, it's good when things try my patience. It helps me remember math.


The thing that irks me is the constant "I forgot" "I haven't got around to it yet" "Can't you make an exception?" "Is there anything you can do to fix this?" "Is there anything I can do to change your mind?" "You sent me that? I didn't ever receive it. I don't have the slightest clue what you're talking about. I signed a contract for that?" "Why haven't you changed the world yet?" "Where will I be in 5 years?" "How many children will I have?" "Did I win $10,000.00 today?"

What? You don't believe I get those questions on a regular basis? Fine. Some of those are ridiculous examples. Like the $10,000.00. But the one thing they all have in common?

NO.
NO I CAN'T.

aaaaaaaaaaaand...........wait for it........wait for it.........

It's just....It's the people who sit back and think they don't have to do their part because someone else will just take care of it for them. Those are the people for whom I'd plaster that sign to my cubicle wall. Insert in every email they ever get from me. Send wrapped in newspaper for their birthday. Stuffed in their holiday stockings.

So there you have it. I've turned into my own worst possible nightmare. My childhood has come back to haunt me...and I have no explanation. I take comfort and solace in the idea that teachers the whole world over share my pain. Teachers, Police Officers, Administration offices everywhere, Moms...and you know, I'm sure I could think of quite a few other categories, but the truth is: at some point or other in my life, I either already have, or will be pleading for someone to overlook my forgetfulness and let me have a go at whatever it is I missed out on.

Okay, fine.

Yes. I'll make an exception. I'll work an extra hour today because you forgot to do your 5-minute part. I'm sure you won $10,000. In 5 years you'll be in...Hawaii. Oh, you'll have 4 delightful children.

For you, I will change the world. I have the power, you know, as I sit here at my desk, planning whose life I will ruin next. Someday I'll do it for more than karma. Or because it's the nice thing to do. Someday I'll just love everyone so much, that...

* sigh *