It makes me, like, smile. :)

So I'm sitting here at my desk...working away...when all of a sudden, something hilarious breaks the silence...

My boss's ringtone is the Nacho Libre theme song.

I think I laughed for five minutes straight.

♫Iyam Iyam...a real religious man...♫

* wiping tears *

Yeah, it's gonna be a good summer. :)

EXCEPT:

Go away, snow! May is not the place for you... to say nothing of June. These poor little EFY kids were so not prepared for you.

♫wissshhh right now...♫

Feast your eyes on the beauty I'm driving around for the next two weeks....
BAHAHAHAH
At least it has leather interior?

My next car is so getting upgraded to the leather. Heck. Yes.



I got a shorter splint on my finger today...I can now bend my finger in half.
* happiness *
who knew?

My room is clean.
Watch out, universe. I possess order again.


Hair: not feeling boyish today.

Cute boy: Hello. :)

Glee: On my iPod. Pure bliss.
♫The Lady is a Tramp.♫One.♫Jessie's Girl.♫Ice Ice Baby.♫
perma-grin.

Even better?
two words: Airplanes. B.o.B
I've been singing it for multiple days straight now. I don't even want it out of my head yet.
Thank you, Hayley Williams.

Sardines in a pitch black church: hello, summer! Stay for a while, please?

Cool. :)

Summer goal: coming.
I think it's pretty darn cool.
Stay tuned.

When it rains, it pours...

Hi. Welcome to my life. At about 3:00 p.m. Monday, guess what happened?

Some girl hit my car.

I have a $500 deductible on my car insurance.

On one hand: great.

On the other hand: $500?!?!

I. HATE. TEENAGE. DRIVERS.

It's seriously stressing me out.

Last Monday it was the broken finger - then one week later I can't drive my car and have to cough up $500?

You're kidding right?

Seriously, I quit. I hate Mondays.

I had this other post I was working on...you know...nice happy thoughts. It's gonna have to wait until I'm in a better mood. Right now all I want to do is go home and sleep.

But my room is a mess. I can't sleep when I know my room is a mess. This only happens when I'm stressed out. You can always tell how my life is going by the state of my room. I don't even let people in my room right now.

MAKE IT STOP!

But I did cut my hair...and I really like it.
(I'll post a picture...someday...)
Except when I woke up this morning and no matter what I wore, it looked like I was a boy because my hair is so short.
GAH.

Tomorrow will be better.

Out.

I make lists. It's my mother's fault.

Ahem.

#1
I finished my grad school application last Saturday.
Yes, that was the deadline day.
No, I do not have a strong opinion about what the decision is. :) I'll find out in June.
The best part about hitting that submit button was the feeling of finally having DONE it.

Dear life list: CHECK. Next? :) Love, Me.

#2
Cool things:

• I got more jeans in the mail. I love them. Even if my friend Lauren made fun of the rainbow colors on the pockets. She's just jealous.
  
• 3 Calvin and Hobbes books: now mine. Mucho on sale. Steal of a deal. Thank you, Barnes and Noble. :)
• Rearranging finances can sometimes be the best thing you never though of doing. Let's just say I should have done that a long, long time ago.
• Getting my hair cut: TOMORROW!
  

#3:

I broke my finger.

Yeah, that's right. I've never had a broken bone yet in my entire life so I guess I had to break that streak sometime but I just didn't expect to do it on a Monday morning on my way in to work.

In case you're wondering, I slammed it in my car door. My locked car door, mind you. I had to unlock my car door, pull out my now mangled finger, freak out for .2 seconds, get back IN the car, and drive myself to the emergency room because I'm not terribly far away, there's no one in the parking lot (HOW, I ask?!?) and my phone is clear in the back seat of my car. So I drove. Behind the slowest lady in all of P-town. ..Uh...yelling and crying the whole way.

What. A. Baby, right?

So far, it has been in a giant pink finger cast the size of Texas, and is currently in a less noticeable white splint. In one more week, it will hopefully be small enough to fit in a normal finger-sized cast.

The worst part was not actually breaking my finger. (Though that was gruesome and I shall never repeat aforementioned experience, thank you very much.) The worst part was driving MYSELF to the ER, and then sitting there for four hours - all by myself. AND THEN the doctor has the nerve to tell me my fingernail probably won't grow back.

Can he not SEE that I'm a girl, and that I'm ALREADY crying?! Geez.

However, after a follow-up visit yesterday, the new doctor told me that was not so. In 4-6 months, I shall have it back.

That's so much better than never. :)

UGH.

Also, if anyone has a use for four giant x-rays of my broken finger, you just let me know.

#4

Sometimes...sometimes I hate it when I realize I shouldn't be so judgmental.

Very vague case in point:

"Annoying" boy recently turned into "suddenly you are strangely attractive/what is WRONG with me" boy.

Oh boy.

The end. This is Dee, signing OUT.

"The fears are paper tigers..."

Question:
"Dee, I keep checking your blog, and it's the same post from forever ago. Um...what's the deal?"
- the five people who read my blog

Answer:
I have a problem.

-Dee

See that sign below? I feel like I've been standing in front of it for so long I can't remember a time before standing in front of this sign.

Show me a sign! Show me a sign!
Crap.
Stop showing me THIS sign!

Remember those anti-drug commercials of the 80's/90's?
"This is your brain."
Insert picture of normal, healthy brain.
"This is your brain on drugs."
Insert some version of picture below...

(okay, so maybe the picture wasn't scrambled eggs...I can't remember for sure right now. But that's what I think I remember. haha.)

Yuck. Who wants scrambled brains? Not me. So...I never took drugs. HAHA. The irony of it all, however, is that I ended up just the same:

this is my brain on decisions.

AGGRAVATION!!

I'm serious. Something needs to change; something HAS to change. I can it feel all the time, but every time I try to make some kind of change:

enter brick wall.

New Job?
Same Job?
Grad school?
Grad school for free?
Grad school for $$$NOT FREE$$$?
Choir?
Move?
Stay?
*%#@^&!!!
STOP!!!

It's even frustrating to BLOG about! I get tired of thinking about it, trying to figure things out, and then I just tell myself: "Hey, get a grip. Your life is just fine. The grass is not always greener." That only works for so long, and then the horrid cycle starts all over again.

Hello, headache. :)

Aaaaanyway.

See? This is why I don't blog right now. Who wants to read this?! Haha. It's not like I haven't tried: there are probably a dozen drafts sitting in my Posts. Do they get published? NOPE. Writing usually helps me figure things out. Not anymore! These days, I just sit in front of my journal and stare; unable to even process the head mush into something of substance. EW.

What is wrong with me?!?!
Good GRIEF.

"The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward."
-Amelia Earhart

Don't worry - I have a whole list of good decisions. The only problem with this list? I can't do everything all at once...and everything overlaps. It's down to the waiting game that has become my life. I'm probably just freaking out over the waiting.

* sigh *
Right?

I'll let you know when the world stops spinning.

Your fault. I blame you.

Blame #1:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD!This guy is the big, bad 50 today. :)

In honor of this once-in-a-lifetime event, I have made a very long list of 5 things I blame entirely on my dad:

1. He taught me to love reading. More than almost anything. It's because of his influence in my life that I am almost twice as good at reading/writing as I am at math. I blame him for always getting in trouble during math time in elementary school for reading instead of learning the order of operations. :)
2. It's his fault I love oatmeal raisin cookies more than chocolate chip cookies.
3. Whenever I see low-hanging kitchen lights or someone says "Tadaaa!!" I laugh inside. He was entertaining us while he was making bread or something in the kitchen while we were younger, finished it off with a big, swooping "Tadaa!!" and smashed the kitchen light into a thousand tiny little pieces. Best. day. ever. :) It's funny to me, and I blame him.
4. He's probably magic. I don't think I've seen a baby scream for longer than about 10 seconds after he takes them. I blame him for judging guys who can't calm screaming babies. Actually, I don't really blame him. I'm just amazed.
5. I love all things basketball because of him. I can also sit through any baseball/softball game as long as it's outside. His fault.

Cool idea, huh? I bet everyone's going to make blaming lists for birthdays now. It's the new rage.

Blame #2:

I would include a picture with this, but that would just give everything away, and what fun would that be?

Dear "Jonas,"

You've ruined my life. None of the other boys are as cool as you are. How did you manage it? Now you're gone and I just really hope stuff like this keeps happening. It's AWESOME. Now I just have to find someone like you that's not actually...you...

* sigh *

I can't decide whether I should blame 1982 or 1991.
stupid. universe.

Sincerely, Dee

Blame #3:

In other news, I realized yesterday as I went to the temple that it has been 3 years this month since I first went through. I'd have to say...it's one of the best things I've ever done. :) I blame this for making my life amazing.

I really do love my life!

I haven't been the best blogger of late because I have a list longer than the brand new toilet paper roll in my bathroom of things I need to decide.

...tp was the longest thing I could think of right now...

But no matter what I decide about the things on those list, and no matter what else may or may not happen in life, I have one final point of blame: all things considered, I blame the gospel of Jesus Christ for making my life fuller, happier, and more meaningful than I could ever see it for on my own.

On that note, you should read this. I promise it's amazing.

Request for Roadtrip with Beach.

Dear next two weeks,

I really like my life. Could you hurry up and stop being so fussy so I could continue enjoying life?
Thanks.

Sincerely,
Me

My little brother is getting married next weekend, my Dad will be in town this weekend, I'm bridal-showering on the parental home-front this weekend, there's so much to do, and I am just praying we'll be able to finish it all. It just seems like in the cyclone that is our lives right now, there's a mean little gnome out there trying to trip it all up.

Hey. Angry Gnome.
Watch. your. back.
Me

Sometimes I think the idea of eloping is so...nice. Except I would kill them. Then they'd really have something to be mad about.

I'm talking about the angry gnomes, of course.

There's a very good reason I keep a journal. Surpisingly to some, it is actually not this blog. Hahha.

Dearest darlingest end of April,
I cannot wait to see your face. California, here I come. Save me a spot on the beach.
longingly,
you know who