Thoughts on Proposition 8

Last night, the issues surrounding Proposition 8 were brought to my attention once again. Every time this happens, I find myself feeling frustrated and sad. My position never changes, but my emotions about it do. I guess this is my unorganized attempt to say what I'm feeling. Sometimes, standing up for what you believe in is a lot harder than it looks. So if you read this, just keep in mind - it's unorganized, I don't know everything, and I wish I did. I'm not posting this as an argument. It's just that these issues always hit a little closer to home for me, and I wish it didn't feel so sad to me.

Here's a rough one. I've seen a lot of things I agree with about this proposition, and a lot of things that really discourage me from the other side. There are a lot of strong feelings on the issue of same-sex marriage - and the strong feelings exist on both sides. For someone like me who surely has an opinion on most every subject, but honestly usually likes to remain neutral for the sake of keeping the peace.......like I said. This is a rough one.

My friend, Nicole, posted some videos on her blog about voting YES to Proposition 8. First of all, I say props to her for taking a moment to stand up and say what she believes in. There are an incredible amount of really good people on BOTH sides of this issue. She is an incredibly good and loving person...I'd like to think I am as well. (Hopefully...usually...let's remember I'm human, too!) I personally don't live in California, and neither does she, but I do think this is something that affects everyone.

But how it affects each of us is very different.

But before everyone starts freaking out, I would like to say I do feel conflicted about this issue. But it may be for different reasons than some of you might think. I think everyone has the right to stand up for what they believe in, no matter what the issue is.

That includes me.

It also includes people I love very much who absolutely disagree with what I think.

Drawing the line between people I love and what I believe is something I have never wanted to do. When I first started to hear word about Proposition 8, I knew deep down how I felt about the issue. I would personally vote YES.

HOWEVER. Even knowing how I felt about the issue, and what I would vote...I felt a lot of sadness and just a little bit of fear start to stir inside me. Not fear of what I felt like I needed to do, but fear of what would happen to those I love, no matter which direction the issue happens to go. I believe marriage is between a man and a woman. I believe it is ordained of God, that it is a sacred relationship, and should be guarded and cared for with all our energy. I know families are essential to the reasons we are even here on earth in the first place. We are supposed to help each other and do all we can to support each other. But I also know there are forces on this earth whose sole purpose is to destroy these principles that are so central to what I believe and personally know to be true.

But none of that matters to someone who doesn't believe all those things. They believe in different things than I do; they have different feelings than I do. I have struggled with how to answer myself on these issues for quite a few years now, and always think, "But wait...what about the feelings of those who don't agree with me?" These people are not numbers on a statistical scale to me. They are people I know and love very much. People I want in my life forever. But they are also people who really are somewhat distanced from me because of my beliefs. This distance is not a purposeful choice on either side, necessarily, but a distance nonetheless. If, in an effort to preserve these relationships, I am not protecting what I believe in...what then?

I guess the part that troubles me the most is the fact that if I ever open my mouth about my beliefs to anyone who wants to vote NO on this issue, I usually get my religion slammed in my face. It may not happen that way with angry words, but the feeling is the same. I am exhausted by the world and its demand for "tolerance" when I feel as if my very own beliefs are being thrown in the nearest trash bin. "We don't care what you believe" is what I hear the most...and such potentially hurtful things as telling me that my religion is prejudiced and hateful. I don't feel like I am that way at all, and I strive every single day to live up to my religious beliefs. So tell me, please, how that adds up!

There are so many legal issues surrounding this proposition - the loss of some religious freedoms being one that troubles me possibly the most. Religious freedom...the reason our forefathers came here to America in the first place...is being threatened by every turn of this issue, and I fear it will only get worse. I believe we all have the right to pursue our happiness and to experience joy while we are here...but I also know that sometimes the things that bring us the most happiness are not the easy answers...they're not the things we always initially want. I know there are things I want that are just not good for me. There are things I want to do that I just should not and therefore don't do.

But here's the last thing I really know. I know that we, as human beings, are a very confused group. We change all the time. We all experience different things, we come from different places, we are even taught different things. That's why we need someone who ultimately knows all things who can tell us what to do. Despite claims otherwise, there is a God. He created us, and has provided for every thing we will ever truly need. He never changes. He is a perfect being. He knows all things, and there is a purpose to everything He does. He knows how we are. Therefore, as a perfect being who loves us, His children, He has given us prophets all through out the history of the world. Why would He stop now? He is a finisher - He's not going to stop in the middle of this "human project" (if you will). There is a prophet today, and He tells us what God wants us to know. He is given power from God to be able to tell us the right things to do. We have been promised that he will never lead us in the wrong direction. Sometimes we're asked to do things we don't entirely understand.

I have been asked to stand up for families and marriage between a man and a woman. This is the Lord's way, and as much as it pains me to stand in opposition to people I love so very much, it is what I have to do. No one is forcing me. I am choosing to do it. I have no idea what will happen, but I can't stop standing for what I know is true and right. No matter how angry it makes someone else. But I am not doing it to make anyone angry or to be intolerant of the choices of others. I'm doing it because I think the Lord has a much better track record than we do. I don't know the reasons for everything - I wish I did. But I have to do my part by standing up for what I believe in as well.

Preserving Marriage