I cleaned my room last night. Finally. After living out of a suitcase for the last two weeks, I finally did my laundry and put everything in its place.
Then I collapsed on my neatly made bed and looked around at the beautiful order that was again the state of my room.
* happy sigh *
I love it when it looks like that. Because...did you know? The state of my room generally reflects the state of my life.
If it looks like a tornado hit my room, I guarantee you I'm running around with my hair on fire. I'm barely getting enough sleep, I throw a load of laundry in whenever I have a spare second, and I barely made it through my run that evening after work, but really just wanted to pass out on the sidewalk. I'm running from one commitment to the next, and probably still missing out on fourteen other things and have at least one person mad at me for not making it that far down the "to do" list for the day. I manage to utter a sleepy prayer as my head hits the pillow, and probably hit the snooze button four times the next morning before I crawl to the bathroom and brush my teeth. It's during these times I sincerely desire whatever contraption it was Jane Jetson had that did her hair and makeup, made the bed, brushed her teeth, etc. all while she just sat there wiping the sleep from her eyes. ...Either that, or I need a stool I can sit on while I brush my teeth because being awake is still cruel and unusual punishment.
I know, I know. Did you know life as just me could get so hectic?! I wonder how women with a husband and children do it. No. Let's not wonder about that. It makes my head spin.
If my room is clean and orderly, that means I get up when my alarm rings, I say my morning prayers, kneeling down, out loud, I do my scripture study, I shower, I get ready all the way (no shortcuts) and wear something other than a polo to work, and still get to work on time. I'm insanely productive at work, I run/work out with super-hero energy after work, and I still make it to everything I need to by the time I need to go to bed, and it's all done before the next day has started. Everything is put away, my laundry is done, and I probably even wrote in my journal. The only thing I lack in these times is a Mary Poppins bag, but even that sometimes comes to fruition because I probably just found a great new purse, AND it was on sale.
I'm so on top of things it's almost scary.
But that kind of perfection isn't supposed to last, right? ...so then of course something happens to make the tornado hit and I start running crazy again.
But just for that one brief moment last night - I felt like I could breathe again. If everything was in its place, I could think clearly, and if you'd asked in that moment, there wouldn't be anything I couldn't handle.
I know what you're thinking: DeeAura, could you BE any more random?
Well, yeah. Easily.
I went to Nauvoo two weeks ago, and I always love it there - but going there is always sort of a catch 22 for me. For some reason, whenever I go there, I'm always reminded there's something more. Something more to my life, and more to do than I am now doing. I felt that so strongly this time. This is a GOOD thing, but bad in the sense that when I came home...I still can't shake the feeling.
Progression can be so obnoxious sometimes. :)
I guess in all the crazy running about, I've finally reached a quiet spot in the climb and within that quiet is the whispering of a little more clarity...and I'm so grateful for it. I'll go and do, but for one brief second, I just wanted to sit in the peace and quiet it brought to my soul.
So that's all for now. Today I'm just grateful for the calm.
...even though my desk at work looks like this lately:
It's a strange thing, but when you are dreading something, and would give anything to slow down time, it has a disobliging habit of speeding up.
~J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, 2000
*sigh* It's over...
Freshman year of college: done. Summertime comes. What am I doing? Oh, not much. Just chillin' in the happenin' land of Rexburg, Idaho. I remember coming home from work one day to find my roommate buried in a book. She didn't respond when I said hello. Odd. I put my stuff in my room, and came back out to the living room where...roommate is still lost in book land. It's summertime! C'mon! I tried convincing her to come outside with me and we'd go find some boys and have fun in the sun. Nope. She wanted to stay and read. WHAT IS THIS BOOK? So I check the cover.
Something about wizards.
Whaaaaa???
REALLY?
I started to poke fun. I did. I'd seen my younger siblings hooked to these books like they were an IV to life, but I just brushed it off because, well,
A) my family reads like books are going to become extinct soon, and
B) I'd mostly seen my little brothers reading them.
I was a fully mature college freshman-soon-to-be-sophomore, for crying out loud! I didn't have timeto read silly wizard books. (Fear not. I have since recounted all efforts to rush this growing up thing. Albeit a little late in the game, but that's not the point.) But I had a cunning roommate. She took it like a champ and finally told me I had to read the first book and then if I still didn't like it, she'd concede. (HA! She never would have. She just knew I'd get hooked.)
Well, I'd like to thank you, Portia Koenig Walker, for changing the past 10 years of my life and helping me appreciate all things muggle and wizard in all those walks down Diagon Alley.
Books are going to be in heaven, I'm pretty sure. As I sat eating my icy Butterbeer snowcone in the heat of the afternoon, reflecting on the upcoming midnight showing with growing anticipation and a twinge of melancholy...I couldn't help but smile. :) I mean...look at that little face!
He's so grown up now. *sniff* Also, in celebration of the day, even the college campus which provides my daily bread found time to appreciate the imagination of one J.K. Rowling:
It just makes me happy. :)
I never go to these movies anticipating them to be anything like my experience with the books. I think you're a fool if you do. But honestly...for the last movie...I thought they didwonderfully.I laughed, I cried, I cheered, I shuddered...I felt fear and triumph.
...Minerva McGonagall is my new favorite: "I've always wanted to use that spell..." AH. Good does triumph. :) When Slytherin house is sent to the dungeon. :) heeeee...a little karma never hurt anybody, right? :) I felt strangely relieved when the dastardly Malfoy family, so shattered by their entanglement with Voldemort, is finally seen leaving together: safely. Relief and a surge of sympathy. You know it's good when you even feel for the not-so-good-guys. We're all human after all...(err...except if you're a wizard...because, well, I mean, you are, but should we change that to muggle? nope. I digress.) When Bellatrix Lestrange is FINALLY defeated!!! Though, we must admit she did a fabulous job with her character. And by none other than Molly Weasley?! AW, YEAH! I admit without reservation to cheering out loud, clapping, and a few fist pumps in the air for that one. When Severus Snape's true character and intentions are finally revealed - I guarantee you I was not the only one with tears streaming down my face. I heard much sniffling around me, so I felt a little less ashamed. :) Rowlings was brilliant with the creation of such a thing as the Pensieve. One would certainly come in handy in this muggle world, I think.
"One simply siphons the excess thoughts from one's mind, pours them into the basin, and examines them at one's leisure." --Albus Dumbledore
All that is only scratching the surface. Clearly.
Thank you, Harry.
And Hermione. And Ron. And Doby. Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Dumbledore. Snape. Hagrid. Hogwarts. *sigh* I'm going to start crying all over again.
To stave off the mourning I will surely encounter in the next couple weeks, I'm thinking HP parties with things like this. And reading them all again, start to finish. And more Butterbeer snowcones. (Which come with a surprise at the bottom, fyi. It's a gummy bear, but I was still pleasantly surprised. :) Apparently I excel at all things mature.)
And speaking of mature, I found this the other day...hahha...
I find that ultimately hilarious.
Welp. I have now sufficiently ruined the somber, sentimental HP mood, I'll leave you with that for just one more day. There were pictures from this night, but I accidentally let my friend Lindsey take all the pics with her camera, so...those will come later, probably. :) I decided this was an event worthy of a midnight showing, yet again. But try telling me that now when I'm paying the piper hardcore. :)
Dawn seemed to follow midnight with indecent haste.
~J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, 2007
truth.
So let's just see what they do with Hunger Games. :) Maybe that'll help.
No, I probably just need to go the Harry Potter World.
Okay, I know I know...I am a terrible blogger. Every summer. If you need to check up on my track record, the archives are below for your perusing pleasure. * sigh *
A concerned friend emailed me a little while ago to make sure I was okay because, well, the blog has been a little debbie downer lately. Oopsie. :) I looked it over, and - yup. That's true.
Ew. We're changing that: NOW.
Yes, life is hard sometimes. Blah, blah, blah. But you shouldn't have to read about that every time you come to my blog, now should you? No. :) And truth be told, that's sort of why I haven't blogged in a little while. I'll go to write something, and erase it, thinking, "Ugh. Nobody wants to read that!" and then I'll go for a run instead. Haha.
Let me catch you up on the oh so fabulous life of the life of yours truly: (you're welcome)
Cinco de Mayo 2011:
Some friends and I ran a little 5K that evening that turned out to not only be a great little run, but ALSO had the best spread of after-race food I have ever eaten. Seriously. Always run a race if it's held on aforementioned day. They had horchata and more chips and salsa and fruits and veggies than I've ever seen. For free. (Okay, if you paid to run, but I did, so it was "free") Best idea EVER!
Uh...but then remember how I locked my keys in my car just before the race? Yep, I'm a moron. :) But we decided to pretend like it didn't happen until after the race so we could still enjoy our time.
So then it's after the race. Oopsie. We tried opening my trunk. Sometimes it just likes to open. No bueno. So then I pulled my phone out from under the car (yes, I hid it there. stealth.) and called every boy we knew. Okay, many boys we knew. ALSO NO BUENO. Geez. I'll keep my comments on that one to myself... :) Then we found hangers in my friend Lindsey's car. BINGO! :)
After a few failed attempts, my friend Angela hit the jackpot, and we were no longer carless. :) If I had a picture of the pure JOY we three experienced in that moment, I'd show you. We were SO proud of ourselves. Suffice it to say I broke my personal jump record. Which is very high. I jump really high. Also, I've always thought breaking and entering would be a great RS activity. What? How many times are you locked out of cars and houses? HUH? Wouldn't you give money to know how to pick a deadbolt sometimes?
You know I'm right. The end. It was a hilarious night. :)
Later in May:
Getting ready for the EFY season. Story of my life. This year, though, we had to check out a hike for the kiddos. In May. In the rain. And because it's work - no jeans. Anybody else wanna hike Ensign Peak in the rain and mud? This is what you will look like afterward:
It was a fabulous time. I highly recommend it. :) I love my job, but I DO also love the days when we don't have to sit behind the desk. :) I also have some of the best co-workers. I love working with people who honestly love their jobs, and love the youth. It has its hard days for sure, but I still think there's really nothing better. Especially when you have fantastic people working right along with you!
Meet Jenny and Lindie. The two people I couldn't do without during the summertime. Jenny has been working with me for a couple years now, and I curse the day she graduates this August. :) It'll be a sad day for me when they're both done at the end of this summer. I don't know what I would do without them! Not only are they fantastic at their jobs, but they are both stellar people. Love 'em both.
Please don't leave me. Drat growing up. :)
Memorial Day:
Much-needed break from all the drama! I gladly left my craziness behind for a roadtrip with the fam to Grouse Creek, a.k.a. my favorite place on earth. Jen and her family and Daniel, Ben and I all drove out the night before the rest of our family, and it was just like old times. Our family sort of grew up in two phases: the older half, and the younger half. Haha. But the older half of us haven't been able to just spend time together like that in...years. It was so refreshing, and I discovered how much I have missed my brothers. MISSED them. We talked about all the things we wanted to in the car on the way up, vented, laughed, slept...ate junk food...it was perfect. :) I went running the next morning from my grandma's house to the cemetery and back (there are more cows than people in this town.) Running on dirt roads passing all the beautiful wide open spaces?
YES PLEASE!!
My brother Ben met me at the cemetery on his four-wheeler, then we met everyone else on the way back, and my little nephew Brandon ran a little ways with me. He was hilarious. "DeeAura! I'm running! I'm running! Catch me! hahahahh!" I love my little guys. :)
Then came four-wheeling for hours on end.
Then grandma's cooking. :) And more four-wheeling. I think this is the most beautiful place on earth. I love that house behind us, I love those trees. I love that white picket fence. I love the dirt roads, I love the cows, I love the sage brush... :) What? I just love it all!
Then card games until 3 or 4 a.m.
This is EXACTLY what it's supposed to be like. :)
If only we all saw each other more often! It's a circus, but I love it from the bottom of my heart.
I love my family. We can't take decent family pictures to save our lives. :)
JUNE
Deciding to move has been the best decision I've made in a while. I needed it so much, and explaining it will only make me sound sad. :) hahah. But I'm not! I loved where I lived before. LOVED IT. I miss the people. But meeting new people has been...refreshing. Change can be so hard. But it is also SO GOOD. More on that later...bet you can't wait. I bet you're not even reading this. This post should be about 5 posts. Oh well. I'll just write whatever I want while you scan the pictures. :) These are a bunch of people in our new neighborhood/ward. Love 'em. They're hilarious. They're good people. We play in the pool every weekend. Hahah. Don't worry, we all go to work all week long. :)
Then came more EFY goodness. The Salt Lake Special Edition session came, so we left the office again to go hike Ensign Peak with them. We spent the day with the session, and there were times I just had to stand there and soak it all in. I miss being with the teenagers all day every day. Haha. But somebody has to sit behind a desk all day to make it happen for everyone else, right? * sigh * :) Standing on top of Ensign Peak with all those kids was a moment I really needed. You'd think after 28 years, I'd have my life figured out. But the only thing I keep figuring out is that I have to keep figuring it out!
The Session Director for that week said something when we were up there on top of that peak that really stuck with me. There we were, looking out over all the Salt Lake Valley, and we could see everything. He talked about goals; setting them, remembering where you're going. Don't forget the big picture. Then get down the mountain and go to work.
We always need to be a light to others. There are always more choices to make, and digging down deep within to constantly rekindle that light is something we can't ever stop doing.
Later that day, we were at another historic site, the This is the Place Monument Park, and the teacher there was talking to the youth about being in "the right places." And it made me think on the times in my life when I've just...known...or felt...that feeling...
"You're in the right place. This is where you should be, right now."
My mission. The temple. EFY. Utah State. Working at BYU. Moving.
There are right places in life, and they're different for everybody. But that feeling? It's the same.
And like Elder Bednar says...sometimes they come all at once, like a light switch.
But sometimes, they come gradually...like the sun rising.
The past 6 months have been more like the sun rising than a light switch, but either way I'm grateful for that comforting feeling of light - of knowing it's going the way it should, no matter what.
So, yeah. Onward. :)
JULY: isn't over, but so far...
Strawberry Days. Pleasant Grove, UT. One of my top favorite moments in LIFE happened while the three of us were getting whirred around in the classy carnival rides. The Zipper. Hahah...Mel screamed and yelled and said words I've never heard her say, and Tania and I laughed and laughed...I cried a few laugh tears. I don't care what it takes, I'm going on The Zipper with Mel every chance I get from here on out. HILARIOUS! hahaha...I'm laughing just thinking about it. :)
Summer BBQs with friends, drive-in movies in the beautiful town of Moroni, UT...hahah...this summer has already been packed with fun and great company. I forgot how much I love drive-in movies... :)
Ummm...remember the time we went to see Brad Paisley at The Stadium of Fire and we sat on the
SECOND ROW...FOR FREE????
Um, side note: let's talk about how long my hair is getting...YESssssss...
it. was. magical.
Uh, fyi - these are not zoomed in. We were just THAT close. Holy crap...be still my heart. :) I was like a kid in a candy store. :)
o em gee. he's so good. I couldn't wipe the stupid grin off my face the WHOLE night!
See these two men with us? They are officially our favorite people. Thanks to them, we had the best night of our lives this summer!! Chad and Emory: you rock my world. :) Thank you, thank you!!
I'll stop there. Everything else can just wait. I'm re-living the Brad Paisley goodness in my head. So-o GOOD!
He's freaking good. He's not bad on the yes. Ehem. He's married to Kimberly Williams (aka Annie Banks-Mackenzie). He's hilarious. His songs are hilarious. I love him.
Here's a DeeAura sidenote: Wanna know what I think is one of the best things about country music? For the most part, it's all mine. No man will ever ruin that for me because they're generally against it. :) THIS is fine by me! The winner might need to be able to tolerate it, though...but until then, ya'll can be ignorant and hate it. :)
Driving down the freeway a few weeks ago, I suddenly felt overwhelmed by something to the point of tears. Sometimes change and life is just hard. We all know this. I said a silent prayer, asking for just a little more help...I feel like I'm always asking for just a little more...help, hope, faith...and then it happened. Everything felt warm and light. My tears began to dissipate, and I just soaked it in. The sun was setting, and I had just rounded the bend to be directly in its path.
I don't know all the answers. In fact, sometimes the only thing I know is...that I know very little. :) But I do believe it's in the little moments that our prayers are answered; when our deepest heartaches and fears are calmed. The span between those moments can make it seem like they're almost insignificant. But I believe they are the ones that matter the very most.
"We would do well to slow down a little...Focus on the significant, lift up our eyes, and truly see the things that matter most. Strength comes from...paying attention to the divine things that matter most..."
I am grateful for the rain in Nauvoo that early evening, when we just let the rain fall, and let our happiness grow right there in that moment. The smells, the sounds, the love, the sights of that moment will be with me forever.
For the actual golden note on my door that really hard day last fall...with words so inspired and kind, they literally dried my tears.
For the friend who took the time on gmail chat to talk me through what I needed most that day.
For the true friend who just put his arm around me and told me everything was going to be okay. And I could see on his face and in his eyes that he really believed it and meant it.
For the girl who needed my help, and to whom I couldn't have been more grateful for the opportunity.
For the moment my little brother hugged me...whose strength amazes me...and who remains the sweetest, kindest boy I've ever known in spite of all he's been through.
For a sister who has always loved me no matter what; and to whom I look up to more than I can say. Who takes part in my moments and helps make them lighter by carrying them with me.
For that moment on my balcony, looking out over the lake, when I knew I was more important than that piece of paper.
For the girl who poured her heart out to a room full of people and said exactly what I needed to hear.
For the guy who made me laugh so hard I couldn't breathe in a moment when laughing was the last thing I wanted to do.
For the little boy who lit up as soon as he saw me, and ran to wrap his little arms around ME.
For the girls who make me laugh, and dry my tears, and pick me up...in countless moments.
For the beautiful sun setting over all of Utah Valley last night as we stood at the top of the Y, erasing the frustrations of the day.
For a million other moments I remember whenever I need them most.
For the ability to recognize them.
And for a loving Heavenly Father who gives them to me in the first place.
So, this isn't the blind date post. It's coming, but taking more refinement than I initially anticipated. Rather than keep you waiting, I thought I'd drop a few tidbits to keep you coming back for more.
I've been having a lot of meaningful conversations lately on the topics of marriage, love, and dating. In the realm of my new life of full-disclosure, I just wanted to share a few important insights I've gained lately...
MARRIAGE:
While sitting outside soaking in all the free vitamin D on our lunch break: (a.k.a co-worker confessionals)
"Guys, whenever I think about marriage, it makes my esophagus close."
Commence hysterical laughter.
LOVE:
While soaking in even more free Vitamin D by the pool: (don't worry, I'm wearing my sunblock.)
On dating the guy who's not quite, but almost:
"No way. If I don't think he can make me laugh clear 'til we're in our jazzies, I'm out."
Quizzical looks."Jazzies?"
"Guys. Jazzies. They're the motor scooters you ride around in when you're old. Jazzies."
Big grins."Oh, got it. Jazzies."
laughing is important, after all. commence sunbathing.
DATING:
"Dee, you should date ____."
"Um, okay. Why?"
"Well, because he's tall."
(My immediate mental retort, complete with Jersey accent, "John Wayne was tall..." but I kept it on the inside. Movie reference points.)
"Oh. eye roll. Good point."
Continue doing whatever we were doing before.
Coming up next: Breakfast with Boyd. That's the name of the blind date story. That's right...it has a title. Has for years. It's that epic. Some of you already know this story, but a request has been made, and we all know I can't keep a willing audience waiting. :) Much like this guy...(who I will love until the day I die. Thank you, JT.)
I stayed home from work today.Thursday. Long story. Not worth telling. I'll tell you this instead:
Ahem.
Sometimes the things people post on their facebook status is inspiring. Sometimes it's funny. Sometimes it's totally useless information. You know.
But this is what I woke up to when checking facebook the other morning...talk about deflation:
(and that'll teach me to check facebook before I study my scriptures...)
"__________was reminded this morning that God did not make Moses a mighty speaker - He gave him a spokesperson. I guess our weaknesses are ours to keep sometimes and the Lord provides other solutions."
Oh rats. That's a terrible idea. I hate facebook. And weaknesses. :) If we're friends on facebook, would you mind just putting something a little more uplifting
Moving on.
In other news, I have a short story for you. :)
Yeah, it's about a drill. Stop raising your eyebrows. Why else would I have this picture on my blog?
Yesterday, my co-worker walked into my office with an electric drill he doesn't use anymore and asked me if I wanted it. This was per a conversation we had in a meeting over a month ago when he asked me how moving was going, and I told him I decided I either needed a husband or an electric drill to finish the last few pieces. He laughed. A month later, he gives me his spare electric drill...
Wait. What is the universe telling me?! I don't get it. Who's laughing now?!
bahah...I am. That's hysterical.
...but only because pushing the button on this electric drill is SO much more fun than I anticipated...
...Ummm...OKAY. My room has a little balcony facing the pool at our apartment complex, and they're playing Celine Dion and Josh Groban at the pool. all day. AGAIN. I'm making them an alternate playlist: now. I would also like to add I mean no disrespect whatsoever to Celine OR Josh. I love them both. It's just...sometimes variety is REALLY NICE. People are going to thank me for the time I plan on putting into this generous offering. I'm thinking even Celine herself would agree with me. Josh might not, but that's just because his hair affects his brain process. Thankfully, it hasn't affect his singing voice. I digress.
I'm addicted to Words with Friends. I love words, and I love spelling. SO much. I almost won the spelling bee in 6th grade. Did you know that? Yeah. I lost on the word scrumptious, and that's ONLY (i repeat) ONLY because I was thinking faster than I spoke in the moment, and I left the "s" off the beginning. That other dumb kid only won by default. KATT. Ugh. Here I am, off the subject again. Pardon me. Words with Friends.
Dear Adam Tate, I am KILLING everyone else in this game! My score right now is not indicative of your future success. (Cali, it's okay that I tripled your score last time.) Ya hear that, Adam?! I'm getting so frustrated. I get 17 vowels every time, I swear. It's really starting to tick me right off. However, I do feel a little better now I've got that off my chest. Who says games don't bring out the best in people?
Sooo...I hiked the Y the other night for the first time. (I know. 3.5 years of living in Provocity and I just barely did that?) Of course I waited until I moved to Orem before partaking. :) And yes, I meant to make Provocity one word. You say it like atrocity. No coincidence. :)
While on said hike (which I plan on doing time and time again- you should come next time) clear up at the top of the Y, the only sound I heard rising above the noise of all Provocity was the EFY kids down on the campus fields, doing their Wednesday night game cheers. Now that's power. I felt a small swell of pride. :)
Ooooo...One Republic's "Good Life" just came on the iTunes. OH YES. You're gonna need that. I could run to it forever.
FYI: Pinterest.com? Terrible addiction. You should get it. Then we can share stuff. Sharing is good. You're supposed to share: kindergarten rule #1.
That's all. :)
The next post is a story. You'll like it. It's about blind dates. Not commenting on this experience of my life will not actually be possible. Just fyi.
If it looks like a tornado hit my room, I guarantee you I'm running around with my hair on fire. I'm barely getting enough sleep, I throw a load of laundry in whenever I have a spare second, and I barely made it through my run that evening after work, but really just wanted to pass out on the sidewalk. I'm running from one commitment to the next, and probably still missing out on fourteen other things and have at least one person mad at me for not making it that far down the "to do" list for the day. I manage to utter a sleepy prayer as my head hits the pillow, and probably hit the snooze button four times the next morning before I crawl to the bathroom and brush my teeth. It's during these times I sincerely desire whatever contraption it was Jane Jetson had that did her hair and makeup, made the bed, brushed her teeth, etc. all while she just sat there wiping the sleep from her eyes. ...Either that, or I need a stool I can sit on while I brush my teeth because being awake is still cruel and unusual punishment.
something other than a polo to work, and still get to work on time. I'm insanely productive at work, I run/work out with super-hero energy after work, and I still make it to everything I need to by the time I need to go to bed, and it's all done before the next day has started. Everything is put away, my laundry is done, and I probably even wrote in my journal. The only thing I lack in these times is a Mary Poppins bag, but even that sometimes comes to fruition because I probably just found a great new purse, AND it was on sale. 
