Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose. I don't really care, I just like playing word games.
They are fun. I like words. Okay.
HOWEVER.
Approach ever-present war of the words.
Er, battle of the sexes.
This will require simple math with a touch of psych 1010.
Words with Friends +girl vs. boy = Girl should not win by too many points, or too many times, as this is not conducive for growth of male ego.
I invite you to examine the evidence below. These are games with two separate individuals. The common player? Me. Common problem? I'm winning. Common outcome? "I quit. You're winning. I never lose." (make sure you say this is best dude voice for full effect.)
Commence their tail-between-legs SULK while I sit there ready to spit nails because, well, ONE of them always beats me. ALWAYS. I worked HARD for those extra 100 points. The other one just quits halfway through the game because I doubled his score (whaaaaat?) and he apparently has never yet lost a game.
This is a true story. Names have been changed to protect the attractive innocent individual and the moron's pride.
Dear Super-hot-guy-on-facebook,
You don't know me, and I don't message people I don't know on facebook. So this would be weird except maybe it won't be, because I have a funny story for you:
Today, a friend asked if she could set me up with her friend, Super-hot-guy. I hate set ups. I mean I love them. Whatever. I said sure, that'd be fine, and then as an after-thought, I asked if said Super-hot-guy has fb so I can...you know...visually...uh...approve. So she gives me the last name. Super-hot-guy-on-facebook.
I do the stalker thing. See the top Super-hot-guy-on-facebook, check the spelling, see we have multiple mutual friends, and (wrongly, of course) assume YOU are said Super-hot-guy-on-facebook.
I give her the good to go sign, and that's the end of the story. Except then I happened to re-check said Super-hot-guy-on-facebook a few minutes later, and to my HORROR, discover there's another one, same spelling, on the good 'ol fb, and we have 1 mutual friend. The friend who wants to set us up...HAHA...completely different guy.
Idiot.
Normally I'd just keep it to myself, but it's really funny to me, and I see we know some great people in common, and THEY'D think this was funny, so maybe you will? You COULD also take it as a compliment that I would have gone out with you if only we had that mutual friend in common. But that's also weird, unless you think it's funny like I do. :)
Ah, crap. Well, happy Monday! Avoid doing something moronic today, just to balance the universe out or something, okay?
Sincerely,
your non-friend/I promise I'm completely normal, albeit a person you don't know
UPDATE/CLARIFICATIONS: Yeah. I did send that message. It's real. No, he didn't respond...unless you count him requesting me as a friend about an hour later a "response." I think I count it...it's not full points, but it's not like he dropped the pass or anything.
Uh...also...I called it Moron Monday, except it was a Tuesday. Moron multiplied.
1. First and foremostly important: Flu shot day today. Owwww...mom, my arm hurts... boo-hoo-hoo.
2. I soooo wanted to go running intead of get read for work this morning. SO BADLY.
*responsibility grumble*
* insert mental picture of me angrily driving to work. angry even though it's a beautiful day and the sun is shining. Sometimes I wish I were 5 so I could eat sugary cereal and watch cartoons and play with my friends all day long and my mom would clean up after me and I would get afternoon naps and...I could go running whenever I wanted..because 5-year-olds get to do that stuff.*
3. Buuut...I have a job interview today. In less than 2 hours!!!!
* fingers crossed? pretty please *
Yes, I'm leaving my dreamy job. ...As soon as I can find one to replaaace it...
Yes, it makes me sad. I even cried. A lot. It has probably taken me a year to decide. A literal year.
But no, that doesn't change my mind. It's the right thing to do. (Plus I finally want to.)
Except for when it makes me cry.
Unless it makes me cry because it's insane.
Then I still want to leave.
Let's not explore that topic any longer. :)
4. Um, I'm missing the Dirty Dash tomorrow morning...AAAUAUAUGHGHHGHGHGH :( It breaks my little heart. I love that race. Remember? so muddy. so.much.fun.
I feel sad inside. But I still have to miss it.
5. Why? Well, a few weeks ago, I got this little letter in the mail, telling me good news and bad news.
Good news:
Yaaaayyyy, I made it past the first audition round! wooooooo *applause, we can cut the excitement with a knife! I had to pick everything else up off the ground after ripping into my mailbox and destroying the envelope in which this glorious little letter traveled to get to me...okay, you get the picture *
Bad news: It's on the same morning as the Dirty Dash.
dirty. rotten. luck.
Sidenote: Two days ago, it was so cold in my office my right hand froze. I had to keep sitting on it to warm it up. I need it to use the mouse. You can see how this was obviously slowing down my productivity...
Today it is so hot I want to die. WHY?
Anyway.
6. To cheer myself up from missing that run I wanted to take this morning, I drove to work drinking a Jamba Juice and rocking out to Owl City, which just so happened to be on the radio. Plus, it's fall outside. My FAVORITE time of the year. Super duper fave.
This was really great until I looked around and felt like I was the female version of a former boyfriend.
CRIMENY.
Change radio station, keep drinking the Jamba Juice. (not the smoothie's fault.) Try not to let it bother me. This happens sometimes. But it's really really close to not bothering me anymore at all. Apparently I take a long, long time to get over something after I commit to it. Luh-AME. I bet that personality trait'll come in handy someday, though...
7. I accidentally dropped my new friend, the iPhone, on the ground this morning. It was not scathed in any manner whatsoever. Yessssssssssssssssss. Excellent.
8. I got to see this girl for a whole couple HOURS last night: (cepfer we weren't on the beach. guh.)
Best. Idea. Ever. Utah State roommate times were accidentally a LONG time ago. I've missed her. She is much funny. ...Even though she spent the latter half of the evening poking fun at me for having an iPhone instead of a Droid. Quite frankly, I feel like the situation should have been reversed, except she had this REALLY GREAT interval singing/training/musically-geeks-me-out app on it that is apparently only made for Droids.
drat. kick a trike over. :) (it's okay, iPhone, I'm very happy with you. We just need to find that app, okay? okay.)
9. I keep combing the ksl classifieds for a new snowboard for myself this year. I want one. I have a problem. My old one shall not suffice. Every other day I wish to go snowboarding again. Tilt head to the left. See that yellow one? Minus the corny GIRL POWER sticker, it's going to be mine as soon as the chick goes down about...$80. Sheesh. Pretty sure I can make her, though. Just look for me on the slopes on that baby this year. Done and done.
It's okay that it's not snowing yet. I still need all my time with the fall leaves. I'm not wishing them away before they've really come. I'm just planning ahead is all.
"In an unexpected circumstance or a time of critical need, lightning will strike, so to speak, and the future will be in your hands...sanctify yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do wonders among you."
- Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
There's this blog post I've been almost writing for a few months now. In fact, I think I started a similar one a couple years ago but decided it was maybe too personal so I let it sit in draft for...a long time. Then came the day I cleaned out my drafts (this happens often) and that one went to the trash. But today, I keep thinking about it, so I'm bringing it back with some more recent thoughts.
Our lives can change at any moment. Though we usually think of change as a frightening thing over which we have no control, these changes can also be exciting and bring renewal to our lives and our focus.
In these times of change, especially if the change has brought some kind of challenge into my life, I often find myself going back to the core of my beliefs; often to remind myself why I keep going, or to double check if I really believe in the promises of my Heavenly Father. Sometimes I wonder if he's there, or sometimes I wonder if I'm really strong enough to make it through a particular challenge. If I choose to stick to my convictions, to really involve him in faith through my prayers and my actions, I am always able to pull through. But there have also been times I gave up for a moment, or longer...when I found myself face-down to the ground, wondering how I got there. Even in those moments when I have found myself facing circumstances of my own creation OR those happenings of the mortal world in which we live, if I choose to, I have ALWAYS been able to find a way back. Back to the faith I once had, and the strength I once thought I didn't possess is suddenly very real, and very available to me.
On my mission in Nauvoo, I remember very clearly one day walking down the road, reflecting on the lives of the pioneers. On their seemingly unwavering faith and zeal...their striving to stay faithful and keep going no matter what...and suddenly I felt completely overwhelmed with this awful feeling of inadequacy. How could I possibly do what I was doing? How could I look people in the eyes and honestly feel I was worthy to portray that kind of commitment and willingness when I knew I had experienced moments of doubt in my own life? The real question I couldn't push from my mind was,
"Would I have kept going like they did? Would I have been one of the ones who kept going, who left their home for their faith, who left family and friends and comforts...to follow a prophet...into a wilderness that was completely unknown to me? Would I really have been among them?!"
I suddenly felt very, very small. I felt that if the answer were no, I had no business being where I was, doing what I was doing. I had no business walking around, toting a testimony I wasn't positive was rock solid.
Then came the answer. I hadn't even really been praying...it had seemed more to me like a thought that kept going through my mind. Something I kept tossing around in my brain, threatening the peace of anything else that might have been there. But the answer came clearly, and peacefully....almost gliding into my troubled thoughts and smoothing out all the turmoiled rough edges. I remember feeling the words were almost audible.
"Yes. You would have been one of them, because that's who you are today. You don't have to be perfect, and questions and doubts are not indications of weakness or unfaithfulness. They keep your convictions strong, and you will have so much influence for good as you keep going."
Some may argue that's something that should stay between the pages of a journal or something I tell in private to friends or family who might really need to hear it. But I can't get this topic out of my head, so there it is for all the world to see.
I'm also not finished. :)
Since then, opportunities to question have kept coming. I keep having to get on my knees and desperately plead for my Heavenly Father to let me know He's there...that He hasn't forgotten me or someone I love. And the beauty is, each and every time, He has answered me, and each time the answer has been that He knows me, that He hasn't forgotten me, and that He will always be there...that I can make it, no matter what the questions or challenges or doubts might be. That He will never leave us alone. That answer has come in a million different ways. More than I can even list. But the answer has always been a consistent and undeniable YES.
We are here to experience truth, to experience our testimonies. To experience those feelings of growth as we have the opportunity to become more and more like our Heavenly Father. We have to ask, and we have to learn. In this past conference, Elder Bednar quoted President Joseph F. Smith's experience with trials and learning in his own life. He said something I recognized with everything in me...and I haven't forgotten it since. He said,
"As a boy...I would frequently...ask the Lord to show me some marvelous thing, order that I might receive a testimony. But the Lord withheld marvels from me, and showed me the truth, line upon line, until He made me to know the truth from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, and until doubt and fear had absolutely purged from me. He did not have to send an angel from the heavens to do this, nor did He have to speak with the trump of an archangel. By the whisperings of the still small voice of the spirit of the living God, He gave to me the testimony I possess."
It is one thing to worry for someone you love. But it is another feeling entirely to question the cracks and crevices of your own soul; to keep working on purging everything from your life that threatens to destroy your very core of peace and conviction. I don't say this to sound like I'm constantly questioning my beliefs. I know they are real, I know they are true, and I strive every day to hold on to them because they literally are the most precious things I have. I say it to clarify the reality of our lives. We live in incredible times, but we conversely live in TRYING times. Not just economically, but so very mentally, emotionally, and spiritually trying times. If you haven't had those overwhelming feelings or moments yet, you will. They will come, and probably with more force than you've ever experienced before. But it is in those moments I know I have found the deepest reservoirs of strength if I chose to keep going forward.
I am learning not to be afraid of those moments because if I keep going through them, I always find the answer, and I always find I am stronger than I thought I was. If it hadn't been for that feeling of doubt or questioning, I never would have even looked for the answer.
"It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life's story will develop."
It is never worth giving up. Never, ever, ever. The greatest rewards truly are found in building faith, in believing in God, and knowing He is there. Anytime we choose to leave pieces of that behind, we WILL weaken, and we WILL fall. And that fall will be more painful than any challenge and the choice to keep going ever would have been. It is ALWAYS the right choice to choose faith, to choose our Heavenly Father.
When we make that choice...every time we make that choice...He is then able to not only help us keep going, but he is also able to accomplish the greatest good THROUGH us. He can accomplish wonders through us, just as Elder Holland's quote says at the beginning. We go through trials so that we may know from the crown of our heads to the soles of our feet, as President Joseph F. Smith shared, and it is then, as President Uchtdorf so beautifully states, that we will then know a little more of the greatness ahead of us and the goodness we can do...because we will have pulled through one more set of "impossibles."
With the loving aid of our Heavenly Father, we are so much more than any mere challenge, or change, no matter whose "fault" it might be. I know that, and I promise I will never truly forget it because I know my obligation is not only to myself, but to everyone I will ever meet. That knowledge and the promises that come with continuing onward are far too valuable to ever consider throwing away.
I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS PICTURE. And the beautiful ladies in it with me. Of course, there are many more individuals in this world I would love to have in a picture with that much happiness, but this is the one I have today, so it's the current favorite. I want to explain why I love these girls so much...don't feel badly if you're not in this picture, though. Trust me - if we're friends, I could write just as much about how much I love you as I have written about these beauties around me. :)
To Sarah, who is this incredible ray of happiness. I don't think anybody else makes me laugh by doing the chicken walk, and her laugh just makes me happy. :) She is kind and beautiful and good, and more than once has left just a little note that helped carry me through. I just love her. She's incredibly talented in more ways than I could hope to list...photography, cooking, best host everrrr, and did I mention the chicken walk yet? Did I? She thinks of others in ways I sometimes don't even consider, and she's always looking out for people. She has a heart of light and goodness, and I love my Sarah. :)
To Alaina who has been the longest-time best friend and...who I never would have made it through adolescence without. ;) I love her with all my heart, and she has been there through some of my life's darkest times. I literally count Alaina as a light in my life. I'm so grateful I got to live with her for that whole year before she met the perfect man for her and became someone's wife. That is one LUCKY man, but he knows it, so I think that's why I think she's one LUCKY woman, too. I love it when people truly find their other half. So even though it has changed somewhat since she became a married woman, I forever count her as a tender mercy of my life. Alaina has the incredible ability to strengthen others. That's not just because she's a personal trainer, folks. She was making me stronger long before that ever came along. :) She's beautiful inside and out, and I have yet to meet someone who matches her incredible ability to carry people through to the beauty of life, if they'll let her. :) I selfishly want to see her ALL THE TIME but try to give her husband time to see his wife. Just let it be known I wish for nothing more than a walk around our hometown neighborhood, past the Phippen's house, and a little side-stop past the high school soccer field. Ah, memory lane. :)
Then there's my Aubs. :) This girl and I have been through thick and thin together. The past three years being her roommate have been fabulous in every way. She is truly a sister to me, and I truly miss her all the time. But seeing her and Jason date for all that time, and finally get married...the story just couldn't have been any better. They are examples to me of the rewards of truly being committed to your love for someone else no matter what life decides to throw your direction. I never have to worry what Aubs will think about any problem, opinion, frustration or question I might be having. I love her for her open heart and her willingness to love and keep going. She has been a serious strength to me. LOVE HER.
Angela, oh Angela. :) I use your full name because I know you love it. :) This girl is HILARIOUS. She is STRONG. She's SO good, and I want more than anything to be friends with her forever and ever because I want to see those little mini-Angela's running around growing up with the coolest best mom ever. Angela stands up like CRAZY for people she loves. There is a serious FIRE inside that girl that I doubt anyone or anything could ever extinguish. We love books and big words and Ryan Reynolds and she could beat me up in two seconds, except I never ever want to fight her because I love her. (And because she'd win. But that's beside the point...)
Kaley will tell you like it IS. She gets straight to the heart of the matter, and doesn't waste any time doing it. She is strong and immovable in all the right ways. I love Kaley because she knows exactly who she is, and she keeps going forward no matter what. She is honest and good and SO beautiful. I have yet to meet her equal, but I'm pretty sure he's something like Captain Moroni. Just throwin' that out there. Inside all that strength, she's a real softy with a heart of pure gold, and I love her for it. :) This girl is rock solid, and I can't say enough good about her.
Aubrey Shuler. Here is the kindest, most giving, most loving person I quite possibly have ever met. She thinks of EVERYONE, and tirelessly so. I think she is a literal embodiment of charity...I have seen her in action, and I have been so blessed as to have experienced her giving heart in my own life. Here is another woman I would definitely term as a tender mercy in my life. From the moment I met her two years ago, I have been struck by her goodness and love for others. She will give and give and give and ask for nothing in return, but in my opinion, deserves the crowning jewel of them all. I am so excited to see the fantastic things ahead for this girl.
People and the gospel are the two greatest blessings of my LIFE. A few days ago, I managed to grab one of those rare moments when you can just...THINK...and reflect on life. You know those moments? Yeah. Those ones. Anyway, in those few precious minutes, I started to stack up all the things I was grateful for...
...and I came to the conclusion that, most of us, most of the time...have NO IDEA how good we have it.
Even when we think we're grateful and happy and just bursting at the seams with joy...we STILL don't get how blessed we are. And then...inevitably, there comes the balance of life when things seem unbearable. But I've come to slowly see that even in those times that seem so dark and heavy...we're somehow still being blessed beyond belief, but we just aren't used to seeing it. But if we could, I think what we saw would blow our minds with blessings. :)
I guess that's my way of saying my life is overflowing with blessings. But it's not just today, and it wasn't just yesterday...it has always been, it is today, and it ALWAYS WILL BE...overflowing with blessings.
I'm so grateful for the people who remind me my glass isn't just half-full. :) I only wish I could make a list without leaving people I love dearly out. Because that little picture and list above is really only scratching the surface... :)
Testing, one....two...three...I'm writing this thrilling post from my phone so it's probably going to be more engaging than previous posts from a mere laptop. I'm just trying to catch up, and currently the U is killing BYU by a scathing 20 points. I clearly have turned to technology to stave off the...suffering. :)
Peach Days. September on the homefront. The one weekend a year there's actually something going on in little Brigham City. The weekend there are more mullets in town than...ever before...the mystery of where they all actually come from is still to be solved. :)
I don't always make it up north for the big celebration, but I made it for the last night this year, and it did not disappoint. Growing up in Brigham my whole life, this small town carnival signaled the end of summer, and beginning of fall. Since I love fall most, this was never a disappointing time for me. :)
These days my single traditional requirement is that dutch oven peach cobbler, and this year Jen and I just couldn't miss it. :) Newly discovered fact: It is entirely possible to enjoy $4 cobbler with toddlers climbing all over you. In fact, it was even more fun that way. My nephews make everything better. Thank you favorite sister Jennifer. :)
Jen and I took the younger kids on some carnival rides they were dying to go on...I still remember being that age and my aunts and uncles taking me and my cousins on rides and thinking they were so cool for taking us. Going with my little nephews and Adam and Anna literally made my night. I've missed them so much. :) LOVE my family so much it hurts. :) I forget how much joy kids find in every little thing.
AubriAnna rode the zipper for the first time with my very experienced assistance. We yelled and screamed as loud as we could the whole time. Memory for life: check. :) Brandon came with me on the...I forget what it's called...the space ride that deprives you of the ability to move easily. That one. He's only 3 so I was worried he was gouge to freak out, but we got off the ride, and he loudly used the word "awesome" so...pretty sure his pre-ride tearful pleadings resulting in his free entrance were worth it. ;)
I conclude the evening and this post with my nephew James, who was relentlessly hammin' it up for the camera all night long.
Now if only BYU's offense were as relentless, my supportive Cougar apparel wouldn't be in vain... :)
