Bucket List Reality

"God expects you to have enough faith, determination, and trust in Him to keep moving, keep living, keep rejoicing. He expects you not simply to face the future; He expects you to embrace and shape the future - to love it, rejoice in it, and delight in your opportunities. 

God is eagerly waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, just as He always has. But He can't if you don't pray, and He can't if you don't dream. In short, He can't if you don't believe."

-Jeffrey R. Holland

 See that face? I'll be the first to admit that face could've been that happy a couple years ago, but because I was just afraid enough of failure, because I'm stubborn, and because I was convinced I had a better idea for my life, it wasn't. I could go drag you through the past five years of my life and explain every detail of where I could have turned right when instead I chose to turn left; or we could delve into all the psychological reasons I may or may not have chosen the path that was all but laid out in front of me. ...but I won't.

I will say this though: once upon a time I wrote down a life bucket list after I graduated from college. I remember exactly where I was: just outside my Mission President's office in Nauvoo where He and I had just talked extensively about the future...scratch that...my future. The list wasn't all-inclusive by any means, but some things were pretty practical while others were such a shot in the dark I considered them laughable. I'm slightly embarrassed to admit becoming a member of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir was one of those list items I actually didn't think would ever come to pass. :) Silly me, apparently.

Along the way, I've found some paths I decided were "good enough" rather than the original crazy bucket list item I'd written down. They were just distracting enough to explore. But every time I went with the "good enough" option...let's just say I think Heavenly Father lets us explore "good enough" options, but He loves us enough to deny us the "good enough" and keep encouraging us toward the dream option. Because, as Elder Holland says..."he is waiting to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams...." but we have to believe they're actually possible.

I didn't know how literal that statement/promise was until this past year. But suffice it to say, minus the long descriptive post this COULD be, Heavenly Father needs us to really believe in our own dreams and work for them so He can help them become reality. Sometimes my so-called logical side tries to take over far too much, and I avoid the dream because...well...it's probably just too good to be true. ...Right?

We were asked to introduce ourselves to the directors and small group last night, and they had us pick one cool thing we would want everybody to know about us. Well, I think it threw all of us off because...probably the coolest recent thing for all of us was the fact we were sitting in that room. So in my brain scramble, I admitted I wanted to run a marathon this year. Because...well, MoTab: check. The next thing on the list was a  marathon. I had no choice...

Last night was the first night of choir school, and in April/May it'll be official. If it wasn't a New Year's resolution of mine to BELIEVE God really can and will answer all our prayers and dreams...it is now. It seemed so surreal to sit in that room with the 17 women and 22 men who made it with me this year; I had to keep pinching myself, and fyi...Ryan Murphy was so a few feet from me. But I digress. Wanna know the coolest part about it all?

It was 100% reality. :)