When I was 9 years old, my mom took me to see the BYU Young Ambassadors in their show at the Promised Valley Playhouse, called "Celebrating the Light." I should probably tell you it changed my life in a lot of ways. It strengthened my testimony, and it lit a fire in my soul for performing. It's really old. :)
I remember sitting there as a little 9-year-old girl, vowing to myself that I would one day be one of those girls up on that stage, singing songs, dancing, and just inspiring people through talents and testimony. I just knew it was my life's calling. I confess I knew that entire show, verbatim, within a week of first seeing it. I can still do a one-woman show of the whole thing. I'm that good. You're gonna need to listen to this ENTIRE song to fully appreciate my gifts:
It'll probably help if you picture me singing it. Actions and all. Try not to attack me as I live my normal life, okay? The most hilarious part is this song has become somewhat of a metaphor for my life. But it's JUST corny enough to still be funny. :)
So...okay. Here I sit 19 years later, writing this, and I have one confession: I never became a Young Ambassador. gasp. Haha. (Though, we could make a joke or two about Heavenly Father's mean sense of humor as I dated a YA once upon a time, but we won't do that. Let's just say I think it's highly entertaining if I look at it through those lenses.) I never even went to BYU.
But wanna know something else? I still did what that little 9-year-old girl wanted so badly to do. I didn't do it in the way I thought I was going to...but I did it, and Heavenly Father had a hand in every piece of it.
I had a mother who kept pushing me to do more with music, who provided me with opportunities for lessons and encouraged me every time I was too scared to try out for something...or who helped me past my perfectionist mode that threatened to stop me when my level of imperfection was more than enough to get the part.
I had a high school choir teacher who helped me get the courage to sing in front of people, and who was my biggest fan as I auditioned for my college vocal scholarship; which I totally got, by the way.
My piano teacher was a valued friend and accompanist who acted as another cheerleader most every time I sang until I was 19.
I had professors who saw in me what I was still trying to develop, and who helped me get there. I had choir directors in college who blessed me with their musical talents and knowledge. I've made so many friends with similar goals along the way and we've somehow stayed in touch...probably mostly because of that common love. I've gone more places than I can count, performed in more venues than I can remember, and shared my testimony through music in more ways than I even imagined I would be able to. I had more opportunities placed in my path than my vision at 9 years old could even fathom.
Looking back, I wouldn't have it any other way. Except...if I could perform the song above for a sold out crowd, I'd probably do it. You understand, I'm sure.
Thank you, Michael McLean, for...everything...well, except for when you speak-sing. That's actually a terrible career choice and you should probably re-think it. So anyway.
My final Tabernacle Choir Audition was yesterday. 4:56 p.m., folks. And they mean it when they're that precise. The audition wasn't perfect; I'd hesitate to even say it was my best...because it totally wasn't. BUT: it's done. It's back in the hands of the one who's had the final say all along anyway, so I really am not worried.
What will be, will be. :) I really do feel peaceful about it as of this morning. Of course, all day yesterday I felt sick to my stomach and just wanted to not go through with it. But the almost steady stream of texts and emails from friends and family who remembered actually was just enough sanity to tip the scales in my favor. At least so I didn't lose my lunch. :)
No matter what happens now, or in the future, I have a whole slew of suckers who actually believe in me, and it helps me believe in myself. (cue sappy tears.)
I remember sitting there as a little 9-year-old girl, vowing to myself that I would one day be one of those girls up on that stage, singing songs, dancing, and just inspiring people through talents and testimony. I just knew it was my life's calling. I confess I knew that entire show, verbatim, within a week of first seeing it. I can still do a one-woman show of the whole thing. I'm that good. You're gonna need to listen to this ENTIRE song to fully appreciate my gifts:
It'll probably help if you picture me singing it. Actions and all. Try not to attack me as I live my normal life, okay? The most hilarious part is this song has become somewhat of a metaphor for my life. But it's JUST corny enough to still be funny. :)
So...okay. Here I sit 19 years later, writing this, and I have one confession: I never became a Young Ambassador. gasp. Haha. (Though, we could make a joke or two about Heavenly Father's mean sense of humor as I dated a YA once upon a time, but we won't do that. Let's just say I think it's highly entertaining if I look at it through those lenses.) I never even went to BYU.
But wanna know something else? I still did what that little 9-year-old girl wanted so badly to do. I didn't do it in the way I thought I was going to...but I did it, and Heavenly Father had a hand in every piece of it.
I had a mother who kept pushing me to do more with music, who provided me with opportunities for lessons and encouraged me every time I was too scared to try out for something...or who helped me past my perfectionist mode that threatened to stop me when my level of imperfection was more than enough to get the part.
I had a high school choir teacher who helped me get the courage to sing in front of people, and who was my biggest fan as I auditioned for my college vocal scholarship; which I totally got, by the way.
My piano teacher was a valued friend and accompanist who acted as another cheerleader most every time I sang until I was 19.
I had professors who saw in me what I was still trying to develop, and who helped me get there. I had choir directors in college who blessed me with their musical talents and knowledge. I've made so many friends with similar goals along the way and we've somehow stayed in touch...probably mostly because of that common love. I've gone more places than I can count, performed in more venues than I can remember, and shared my testimony through music in more ways than I even imagined I would be able to. I had more opportunities placed in my path than my vision at 9 years old could even fathom.
Looking back, I wouldn't have it any other way. Except...if I could perform the song above for a sold out crowd, I'd probably do it. You understand, I'm sure.
Thank you, Michael McLean, for...everything...well, except for when you speak-sing. That's actually a terrible career choice and you should probably re-think it. So anyway.
I have a point.
My final Tabernacle Choir Audition was yesterday. 4:56 p.m., folks. And they mean it when they're that precise. The audition wasn't perfect; I'd hesitate to even say it was my best...because it totally wasn't. BUT: it's done. It's back in the hands of the one who's had the final say all along anyway, so I really am not worried.
What will be, will be. :) I really do feel peaceful about it as of this morning. Of course, all day yesterday I felt sick to my stomach and just wanted to not go through with it. But the almost steady stream of texts and emails from friends and family who remembered actually was just enough sanity to tip the scales in my favor. At least so I didn't lose my lunch. :)
No matter what happens now, or in the future, I have a whole slew of suckers who actually believe in me, and it helps me believe in myself. (cue sappy tears.)
So thanks. :)
(cue sappy, swelling music...I'm about to burst into the chorus.)
5 comments:
"Thank you, Michael McLean, for...everything...well, except for when you speak-sing. That's actually a terrible career choice and you should probably re-think it." LAUGHING OUT LOUD!!!!!!!!!!!
just nameless faces sitting there in the dark, kinda like you are right now, daring me to entertain them. I had just 32 bars to show them....
You're great, Dee, and I love you! Makes me a little sad to read this because I was that little girl, too, and I didn't pursue it as much as you did. I'll probably always regret it. You should be SO glad that you won't be able to regret it! No matter what happens, you'll know you gave it everything you had.
And what the crap? I just got the part about not being negative about another human being...pond scum. WTF?? What IS this song?
also... I love you. and I love that you are following your dream(s) Forget regret or life is yours to miss
Aaaaah! I'm sure your audition went better than you think it did. Maybe not your perfect audition, but how many of those can a person give? Ohhhhh, I'm hopeful! And I'd totally have texted you encouraging thoughts yesterday...if I'd have known it was going down...and if I had your cell phone number...
Here's to following your heart, Dee!
Also, I'm still laughing at the whole "speak-sing" thing directed at Mr. McLean; I totally agree!
I LOVE YOU SISTER! Thank you for posting that little gem of a musical performance ;)..... However, I would be lying if I pretended I didn't listen to the same 'celebrating the light' soundtrack MULTIPLE times when I was younger as well, haha. And yes, you are so right. Things are in the hands of the person they should be... and everything will ALL WORK OUT.... though we don't know when or how :). Thinking of you!
Post a Comment